Episodes
The Serpent's Tooth
Ben becomes incredibly angry when he discovers that Janey is seeing another dentist, the Australian Mel Fraser. Meanwhile, Nick meets a French swimwear model on the Internet and Michael rebels in an odd way.
Pain in the Class
Michael appears to be having trouble with a classmate. Will confronting the problem make things any better? Elsewhere, Nick is trying to become a dotcom millionaire and Janey wants a tattoo.
Droit de Seigneur Ben
When Janey is set up on a date with the son of one of Ben's patients, things go horribly wrong. Also, Susan gets tickets for the opera but Ben is less than enthusiastic.
The Last Resort
Ben decides to take Susan back to one of their old romantic haunts for her birthday, but instead, romance comes back to haunt them. Meanwhile, at home, Michael is left alone by his siblings.
Farewell to Alarms
Susan insists that they purchase an expensive, over-the-top burglar alarm after Brigitte thinks her van has been stolen, but it fails to serve its purpose. Also, Nick's career takes an unexpected turn.
Death Takes a Policy
When Nick suggests his parents take out a life insurance policy to further his chances of romance, Michael begins to worry about their life expectancy.
The Awkward Phase
Nick wants a job, Janey wants new jeans, Michael needs dating tips, and Ben and Susan want peace and quiet.
Much Ado About Ben
Susan finds Viagra in her son's trousers and confiscates it, Janey tries to get Marilyn Manson tickets, Susan lets her yoga instructor give lessons at her house and Ben is put on a diet.
All Roads Lead to Ramon
When Susan tries to help out a chronically unemployable Nick, her plan turns out to be disastrous, Janey brings a different boy home every day, and Ben has problems with his assistant.
The Unkindest Cut
Ben and Susan face the surprise prospect of parenthood for the fourth time - a situation which is neither wholly desirable nor planned.
Parisian Beauty
Preparations are afoot in the Harper household for the arrival of Sylvie, a French exchange student. Nick is keen to establish entente cordiale, but Janey is wary of the Parisian beauty. Meanwhile, Ben meets a prospective employee who does little to put him at ease.
Trust Never Sleeps
Parents Ben and Susan reluctantly agree to let daughter Janey have a party whilst they are away on holiday - and plan to sneak back unnoticed into the house and check up on the children, just to be on the safe side.
Death and Ben Take a Holiday
Susan, Ben and the children travel to a family funeral in Leeds. In addition to reservation problems at the hotel, Nick's shameless liaisons with the hotel maid and Susan's inappropriate behaviour at the funeral add up to a fraught weekend.
Driving Miss Crazy
Ben is distressed as he faces trouble at work in the shape of his new assistant, who cannot stand the sight of blood. His troubles do not get any easier when he arrives home and must face the trauma of his neighbour's DIY antics. Meanwhile, Janey's preparations for her driving test end with an unforgettable lesson with her dad.
I Second That Emulsion
The Harpers plan to redecorate their house, however, with Nick taking instructions from "The Naked Chef" rather too literally, and Janey's boyfriend spending the night in her room without her parents' permission, it appears that work will never get started.
Age of Romance
Nick has a new girlfriend and the family get a bit of a shock when he brings her round for dinner. Also, Michael gets a new computer and Janey is starting to feel like the poor relation.
Get Cartier
When an over-friendly patient gives him an expensive watch, Ben jumps to the conclusion that he is a gangster and is determined to get rid of the gift. Meanwhile, Susan searches the house for her anniversary present.
'Tis Pity She's a Whore
When an over-friendly patient gives him an expensive watch, Ben jumps to the conclusion that he is a gangster and is determined to get rid of the gift. Meanwhile, Susan searches the house for her anniversary present.
The Last Supper
Susan's new boss has some funny ideas about the tourist business, but when she invites him to the family home for dinner in an effort to change his views, the unexpected happens.
Ben Wants to Be a Millionaire
Ben goes to a reunion of old school friends and is horrified to find that someone he never liked is now a millionaire. Elsewhere, Nick has found a new unconventional way of earning money.
Breakable
Nick buys a motorcycle for his new business endeavour but not surprisingly, things do not go according to plan. Janey gets a new job in hopes of being discovered by film producers, and Susan tries to convince Ben to soften up.
Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey
Ben claims Janey's room for his Scalextric set when she leaves for university. Meanwhile, Nick secures a job at the local supermarket, and ends up bringing his work home with him.
Shrink Rap
Ben and Susan take part in Michael's school fundraising auction. However, Ben quickly regrets making a pledge when he spies a former patient with severe halitosis bidding for a double session in his dentist's chair.
Desperately Squeaking Susan
Susan has taken to asking an increasingly disturbed Michael for advice on make-up and clothes now that Janey has left for university. The arrival of Ben's cousin's daughter in the Harper household could provide a solution - but Ben is reluctant to give up the peace and quiet he has spent his entire married life longing for.
Of Mice and Ben
The Harpers star in a documentary about family life as part of Abi's latest college assignment. Susan is happy to present a facade of domestic bliss and dispense cookery tips along with relationship advice. Ben, however, is more concerned with catching a rogue rodent.
Imperfect Strangers
Ben and Susan look forward to a night out in a town where nobody knows their names when they visit daughter Janey, who is away at university. Booking into a hotel under the names of Johnny Studd and Delores de Large, the stage is set for a night full of surprises, of one kind or another.
The Second Greatest Story Ever Told
Susan's feathers are ruffled when Nick lands the plum part of Jesus in an amateur theatrical production, leaving Susan to play the rather less demanding part of Shepherd Number Two. Ben, meanwhile, has an extremely painful toothache to contend with, and is wary of entrusting his dental needs to any other dentist.
Waiting to Inhale
After Susan finds marijuana in Michael's room, which he got from his friend, Bex, she decides to teach him a lesson; she soon finds herself scrambling after confiscating the evidence.
Misery
Janey is appalled when her mother comes to visit her at university - especially when she begins to reminisce about her own student days. Meanwhile, Ben's plans for a relaxing round of golf do not go according to plan.
Auto Erotica
Nick wins an old car in a poker game, and intends to break it up for parts. Ben takes it over and decides to restore it to its former glory, but he is about as good an engineer as Isambard Kingdom Brunel was a dentist.
A Handful of Dust
It's Ben's birthday, and everyone seems to have taken his request for no fuss literally, neglecting to buy him any presents. Janey is home for the weekend with a new friend, but nobody is sure of the nature of their relationship.
The Lost Weekend
When the children go away for the weekend, Ben and Susan finally have some time to themselves. Unfortunately, it's been so long since that happened, that they have absolutely no idea how to spend it.
Ghosts
After signing up on a social networking site, Susan starts getting messages from an old flame. Meanwhile, Michael finds out their house is cursed and Abi is convince it is haunted.
One Flew Out of the Cuckoo's Nest
Ben gets his hopes up that finally one of his kids will move out when Nick decides to get his own apartment; unfortunately, as always for Ben, every silver lining has a cloud.
Fitting Punishment
Susan is looking forward to the birth of her first grandchild, but not to being a grandmother. Meanwhile, Nick wants to move back in and a new arrival at Ben's surgery has quite an impact.
They Shoot Harpers, Don't They?
Susan decides that she and Ben should take dance lessons, but they soon find it takes more than two to tango. Meanwhile, Michael decides to concentrate on his studies, but can he stop thinking about girls?
The Great Escape
Normally, nobody in the Harper family would willingly set foot in Nick's flat, but when Susan's mother comes to stay, it suddenly seems more attractive.
Return of the Prodigal Prat
When the local newspaper accidentally lists Ben in the obituaries, he takes it as an opportunity to do absolutely nothing. Meanwhile, Susan wants to convert Nick's old room to a nursery, but Nick isn't having any of it.
Owed to Susan
After the Harpers' marriage is threatened by Susan's discovery that the love poem Ben wrote to woo her was not an original, he goes to great lengths to make it up to her.
Deliverance
Janey's baby is due and Susan insists on traveling to Manchester for the birth; it's a journey that throws up several blasts from the past.
Blind Justice
Susan gets hysterical blindness after seeing Michael in bed with a girl. Meanwhile, Ben is on dreaded jury duty and is hassled by an annoying busybody fellow juror, and Nick becomes a wrapping artist.
Friday the 31st
Susan decides to enter enthusiastically into the spirit of trick or treat for the neighbourhood children, which Ben tries to ignore until the spirits get to him.
Sitting Targets
Susan decides that Ben should spend more time with Michael in case he turns into another Nick, and Janey leaves the grandparents to babysit Kenzo.
Loco Parentis
Ben and Susan have to go back to school for parenting classes as a result of Michael playing truant.
Canary Cage
The Harpers get a free holiday to Lanzarote, and even though Ben loses his luggage, he is happy enough to use his brand new digital camera as much as possible.
May the Best Man Win
Abi's father asks Ben to be his best man; this turns out to have been a bad move, as he hands over the running of the bachelor night to Nick.
It's a Window Filled Life
After coming into contact with an infectious disease from Peru, the whole Harper household is placed under quarantine by Susan. How long will it be till they all drive each other mad?
The Mummy Returns
More problems for Ben - Janey comes back home, Susan lies to the police, Michael becomes born-again and Abi confuses nature with naturism.
You Don't Know Jack
Michael gets a cool new friend called Jack, who seems a bit too interested in Susan, much to the amusement of Ben. Meanwhile, Janey gives Abi some fashion advice.
What's Up, Docklands?
Ben and Susan decide to help out some friends by flat-sitting their brand new Docklands apartment, and expectedly, things do not go according to plan.
Luck Be a Lady Tonight
In order to awaken Abi's interest, Susan suggests Roger should make her jealous and despite Ben's protests, tries to find a date for him.
First Past the Post
With a mixture of civic pride and sense of community, Susan decides to run for the council. As a result of this and Michael's new pet, Ben is tempted to run for the hills.
My Will Be Done
Due to the death of Susan's friend, mortality is suddenly on everyone's mind, which results in Ben writing his will, Nick working at an undertakers, and Susan using the Internet to predict Ben's death.
My Fair Charlady
Susan employs a cleaner, who turns out to be such a treasure that she takes over the cooking as well - much to the family's delight, and to Susan's chagrin.
The Mouth Trap
One of Ben's patients, while under anaesthetic, admits to killing his wife. Susan, currently overdosing on murder mysteries, decides to turn sleuth in an effort to expose the killer but then gets involved in a cover-up of her own.
While You Weren't Sleeping
When Ben and Susan have some problems in the bedroom that start to drive them apart, Abi thinks she may be at fault, but she has her own problems to deal with.
Dentist to the Stars
One of Britain's best-loved heart-throbs visits Ben's surgery and although the mere mention of his name sends Susan weak at the knees, Ben is singularly, at first, unimpressed.
A Wife Less Ordinary
Susan is bored with her lot and decides to run her life as a single girl again by swapping places with Janey for a week, who takes the opportunity to try running the home with a husband who is less than perfect.
The Book of Love
Susan attends a neighbour's book club. Michael runs a booking agency exclusively for Roger, while Ben books a seat on the sofa but gets a new assistant too close to home.
Going Dental
Susan forsakes Ben's dental conference to write her novel, while Ben seeks a new partnership in Harley Street and ends up with more partners than he'd bargained for.
Bliss for Idiots
Ben is unhappy with his lot, but is even less happy with Susan's book-writing house guest. Perhaps the Brotherhood of the Cockerel has the answer.
The Spokes Person
Ben starts a one-man anti-cycling campaign which causes chaos in the household. Meanwhile, Susan has Michael photograph semi-naked men for a calendar in order to contribute to her fundraising.
Dentally Unstable
Janey starts an affair with a dentist whose charm rapidly captivates the rest of the females in the Harper household, while Michael's latest scam eventually puts everyone at risk.
Living the Dream
Following Roger's advice, Ben and Susan join a pyramid scheme, despite Michael's warnings. Meanwhile Roger seems to have an unlimited cash flow, but where is he getting all that money?
An Embarrassment of Susans
Susan tries to fix Michael up with a new girlfriend called Suzanne, but the similarity doesn't end in the name. Meanwhile, Ben starts a career as a property developer but squatters may make him regret it.
And Other Animals
With Nick still away, Michael joining the army, and Janey getting her stuff out of the attic, Susan is feeling deserted. Then a stray dog appears and tries to become man's best friend. Unfortunately, the man he chooses is Ben.
The Art of Being Susan
While Ben is away, Susan goes to dinner with a wealthy art collector after her boss tells her to do whatever she has to do to sell art. Meanwhile, Grace is gathering her own collection, and Roger gets ready to pop the question.
The Ego Has Landed
A couple ask Ben to be their sperm donor; Mark shows up and wants to be a part of Kenzo's life; Abi becomes upset with Roger when she dreams he cheated on her.
Four Affairs and a Funeral
Ben talks Roger into helping him move the body of a patient who died in his dental chair; Abi and Susan suspect Roger and Ben are having affairs.
Once More With Feeling
Susan wants to renew her wedding vows with Ben, which is no problem for him, until he is given director's tickets for a football match on the same day. Meanwhile, Janey is trying to get Kenzo into St. Justin's school.
Dutch Art and Dutch Courage
Handsome millionaire art collector James Garrett reappears in Susan's life and Ben feels jealous when the two of them share a hotel bedroom. Elsewhere, Roger is dealing with his own jealous feelings.
Susan of Troy
Michael succeeds in placing the whole family on "The Weakest Link", but Anne Robinson is about to raise more difficult questions than expected.
One of the Boys
Roger's mother visits London to meet future daughter-in-law, Abi, and an old drinking mate from Ben's youth has changed much more than he had expected.
Abi Ever After
It's the day before Roger and Abi's wedding, but for this accident-prone couple, anything that can go wrong probably will, before the marriage is solemnized.
Breaking Up Ain't Hard to Do
Some old friends of Susan and Ben are having marriage trouble, and Susan is out to prove that a trouble shared is a very dangerous thing. Elsewhere, Janey and Kenzo are trying their hand at fame.
Life Begins at Fifty
Susan is accused of shoplifting, and as if the forgetfulness, mood swings, and night sweats weren't enough of a problem, she also has to put up with Ben defending her in court.
The Parent Trap
Michael announces that his girlfriend is pregnant, and she ends up moving in with them after her deeply religious parents throw her out, but it turns out that they were not as religious as everyone thought.
Let's Not Be Heisty
Ben's attempt to deposit some money into his bank coincides with someone else's decision to take some out - with the aid of sawn-off shotguns. When Ben decides to act as the negotiator things look bleak for the hostages.
Cards on the Table
Ben's poker addiction is costing him a fortune, while Susan's addiction to seeing a clairvoyant turns out to be far worse when a horrible prediction is revealed to her.
The Wax Job
Ben decides to sell his dental practice and take up a hobby which he finds even more boring, while Susan's move up the art gallery ladder leads to more than one fall.
Neighbour Wars
Having run over Mr Casey's dog some years ago, Ben now compounds the misdemeanour by running over Mr Casey himself. Casey plays the sympathy card for all it is worth - and it seems that it may be worth quite a lot.
Can't Get No Satisfaction
Michael and Alfie's internet dating does not go quite according to plan, and Kenzo's piano playing may leave a lot to be desired, but will Ben's attempt to get his old band back together prove a bigger hit?
The Abi Habit
According to Susan, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder and she decides that she and the girls should abstain from even the slightest physical contact with men for three weeks in order to spice up their sex lives, but will Abi take it too far?
Bully for Ben
While Ben and the gang are at pub quiz, Ben becomes angry when it is brought to his attention that someone is cheating and he decides to take matters into his own hands. However, his bite might not match his bark.
Bringing Up Janey
Janey desperately wants to keep her new man under wraps, while a suspicious Ben tries to expose an affair between Susan and a client.
A Very Brief Encounter
Susan asks Ben to help an old girlfriend of hers, Mona, through a divorce, but nearly causes her own when Mona tells Ben some surprising tales about Susan. Elsewhere, Roger is feeling down until Janey intervenes.
The Psyche of Mikey
When Ben and Susan discover that Michael is seeing a therapist, Susan is worried and goes straight for the therapist herself. Meanwhile, Ben thinks a father-son chat will sort out the problem.
A Difficult Undertaking
Ben's uncle Norris dies, leaving him less than he expected, and instead Susan benefits. Later, the wake is held at the Harpers, but will it go smoothly?
Dog Dazed
Susan decides to get another dog but when she is considered unsuitable to adopt by the dog adoption assessor, Susan loses her cool, and as a result, it is Ben who ends up in the doghouse.
It's Training Men
An undercover assessor for Cavitex, posing as a patient, leads to Ben having to attend a retraining course, and to make matters worse, Roger is also attending.
The Guru
Ben's old friendship with a celebrity dentist causes problems, while Susan finds a new friendship at an Albanian airport and her loyalty to Ben is put to the test.
Kenzo's Project
Kenzo's school project about the family gives everyone a chance to look at some of the crazier moments in the Harper history.
Wheelie Ben
When the council assume Ben is disabled and send him cheques he tries to return the money but the clerk won't listen and Rosemary, the gushing welfare visitor who comes to assess him, is too busy saying how brave she thinks he is, to let him get a word in edge ways.
The Son'll Come Out
Given that he used to have lots of girl-friends, when Michael comes out as gay, Ben is perplexed but determined to be supportive. Susan is just annoyed that Michael told Ben first.
Desperately Stalking Susan
Ben is appalled to discover that Martin, the benign elderly widower from next door, is besotted with Susan and has built a shrine to her in his kitchen. Whilst Ben has trouble persuading the police, Martin ties Susan to a chair and proposes to her.
The Melbourne Identity
Craig, a young Australian, arrives at the house, claiming his mother was at college with Ben and Susan lets him stay in exchange for doing some decorating. Initially irritated by him, Ben starts to worry when it looks as if Craig could be his illegitimate son.
He's Just Not That Into Ben
To prove how trendy he is, Ben accompanies an embarrassed Michael to a gay club, where he gets chatted up by the adoring Rupert, who follows him home and sends him flowers. It's down to Susan to rescue her husband - and wangle herself a free holiday at the same time.
Slammertime
Whilst Susan is away Ben takes part in a police identity parade, where he is picked out as being a mugger and remanded in a cell with hard cases Carl and Terry. They hire their brief to get him released but later turn up at his house, wanting to lie low, along with Carl's wife Verity.
Ben Behaving Badly
When Janey has to sit with a poorly Kenzo, Ben volunteers to look after one of her elderly care clients, Harry, a man who seems to have been around but is not allowed out else he will go walkabout. However Harry encourages Ben to join him for a night on the town; what could possibly go wrong?
Janey's Choice
Ben is overjoyed when Mark, Kenzo's wealthy, successful father reappears and encourages him to propose to Janey. Susan, on the other hand, believes that Craig's feelings for her daughter are sincere and gives him her blessing. Roger, due to a misunderstanding, also believes that he is in with a chance.
Labour Pains
Susan gets an audition as a presenter of a pre-school TV show alongside a puppet monkey after a producer hears her reading to children in the library. There is however one other applicant, Janey, resulting in fierce competition and dirty tricks.
Accusin' Susan
With Ben on a course Susan works late at the art gallery with handsome young Chris, whose advances she spurns. Next day he accuses her of sexual harassment and she has to attend a course. Janey advises her on how to call his bluff but salvation comes via a far more bizarre reason.
Germs of Endearment
Janey and Michael give their parents a Spanish holiday as an anniversary present but Michael has used Ben's credit card to finance it and needs to replace the money quickly so he contacts "Cash In the Attic", finding that the only sale worth a four figure sum is Susan's beloved antique clock.
Harper vs Harper
Ben and Susan have yet another row after he refuses to attend her godparents' anniversary party so they decide on a trial separation, taking it in turns to live in the house alone. Ben moves in with Roger, ruining his love life whilst Susan overstays her welcome with Michael and his partner.
Relationship Happens
Ben and Susan go off to a couples' retreat for a weekend - at which they prove to be less than ideal guests - leaving Janey and Michael vying for the affections of Michael's new boyfriend. However, the triangle proves to be more Bermuda than eternal.
'Booked
With Ben away on a volunteer dental programme in Colombia, Susan is persuaded by Janey to go on the Facebook social network, which leads to her meeting up again with charming ex-boyfriend Paul Tremaine. He turns out to be a large scale drug dealer and Susan is forced to help the police trap him to avoid being charged herself.
A Decent Proposal
At Susan's mother's funeral, Arthur, the father who abandoned the family thirty years earlier, turns up and takes such a dislike to Ben he offers his daughter a million pounds to divorce him. Is she able to refuse such a generous offer?
Dart's All, Folks
Ben is approached by a man who remembers his father as a great darts player and asks him to join the local pub team. Ben discovers that he is not quite the darts player his father was and they replace him. When Roger asks him to join his team he is happy to sign up - and uses all means necessary to secure their victory.
Susan for a Bruisin'
Susan wants to look her best for an impending school reunion. When she is asked to give the keynote address, however, she decides that her best may need some help. Unfortunately, Ben is on hand to administer the Cavitox.
A Night Out
An eventful night out is had by all, as Janey and Susan go to a hen night, and Roger goes on a blind date, and Ben, who should be at home looking after Kenzo, spends more time out than he bargained for.
Cast
Robert Lindsay
Ben Harper
Zoë Wanamaker
Susan Harper
Gabriel Thomson
Michael Harper
Daniela Denby-Ashe
Janey Harper
Keiron Self
Roger Bailey
Tayler Marshall
Kenzo Harper
Crew
Geoffrey Perkins
Producer
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