Hair

Today the guys discuss all things hair (and the lack there of)! They warn of the dangers of hair removal, explore the strange hair trends of ancient Greek statues, and discuss sci-fi scenarios where the elite harvest hair and organs from the less fortunate.

Body Odor

Mark hosts while Wade and Bob one-up each other's concepts for eliminating body odor, debate the true number of human senses, and remember nostalgic aromas.

Transportation

Mark hosts while Wade and Bob one-up each other's concepts for eliminating body odor, debate the true number of human senses, and remember nostalgic aromas.

Camping

Mark recounts the legend of an insane creature from the Rocky Mountains. Bob explains how his formative kayaking trip almost ended like a horror movie, and Wade...well, Wade just does what Wade does...

Fake Tech

Bob prompts a discussion about technology that blurs the lines of reality in this hilarious episode full of gadget scams, 00's game nostalgia, and if the mute button could exist for real life.

Supernatural

Mark hosts as Bob and Wade trade scary stories. For Bob, it's a strange woman who catches children who stay out too late. For Wade, a true story about how the night after watching "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" may have been scarier than the movie itself!

Bob's Fridge

Bob rages while telling a story about the disaster that was the installation of his new fridge, and the technicians behind it.

Conventions

On this episode of the pod, the guys get nostalgic for conventions and all the good and bad that come with them. From notable failed attempts, to bizarre themes (like "pizza" and "baby"), to post-COVID predictions, conventions hold a special place in Mark, Bob, and Wade's hearts.

Hold my Beer

Wade hosts as Mark and Bob share some classic "hold my beer" moments from their college days.

Synchronicity

In front of a "live" Discord audience, the guys discuss synchronicities, déjà vu, mind-reading, and hive minds.

Perfect Crime

Mark, Bob and Wade aim to answer the age old hypothetical question: "What is the perfect crime?".

Kids are Stupid

The guys share stories about how dumb kids can be: from inventing stupid games, to playing with banned toys, and somehow making it through all of it without a scratch.

Happy Funerals

Bob hosts, opening the floor for Mark and Wade to discuss what they want their funerals to be like.

Future

This week, the guys talk about the future: expectations vs. reality. What did people in the past predict the future would be like? Were they accurate? The guys wonder if they too will be accurate if they attempt to do the same.

How to make a Best Friend

The guys give absolutely the worst advice possible on how to make a best friend.

On Sh*t Moments

The guys discuss their bathroom close calls. Expired meat and hospital visits included, underwear left behind

How Dare You

Tough sports coaches, rude fast food customers, and criminals getting their comeuppance, the guys discuss all of their moments of revenge and defiance against those who dared to cross them.

Dreams & Nightmares

The guys recount their night terrors, the first ones they remember having as well as the ones they still have today. They also explore how memory relates to dreams.

King of Meat

Following the first ever tie in Distractible history, Mark and Bob attempt to share hosting responsibilities, while Wade regales in his tales of good and not so good eats.

Life Plan

The guys discuss their life paths, including career goals, turning points and what job they'd have in a zombie apocalypse.

Lies from Parents

From coffee stunting your growth, to gum staying in your stomach forever, the guys recall the lies their parents told them growing up and how they still affect them as adults.

Dating Advice

Wade hosts as Bob shares the story of his movie theater dating scare, and Mark reminisces on the only dating idea he had in high school, or the lack thereof.

Dangerous Coasters

The guys discuss crazy roller coasters and amusement park rides, as well as discuss what a hypothetical "euthanasia coaster" would consist of.

I Was Wrong...

The spelling of certain words, sex ed miscommunications, examples of the Mandela Effect: the guys humbly admit when they were wrong...

Fears & Fetishes

Sharks, stage fright, and snapping your legs like Joe Theismann. Today, the guys discuss their fears and whether or not the opposite of a fear is a fetish.

Old Men

Let's face it: Mark, Bob and Wade are getting - up there.

We Are All Going To Die

Birds falling from the sky, climate change, solar flares, Jeff Bezos... What will be humanity's ultimate demise?

Young & Stupid

The guys discuss adolescent sneakiness, food revelations, and more Jeff Bezos!

That One Guy

Campfire guitar guy, the gamer guy with a bad mic, Crypto Bros, Florida Man… you know, that guy. Which “guy” are our guys?

Never Give Up

Mark shares the story of a pilot who crashed his plane seven times, inspiring Bob and Wade to find similar tales of perseverance despite ridiculous failure.

Humanity Is Bad

Bob challenges Mark and Wade to prove that humanity is ultimately good.

Christmas Gone Wrong

The guys dive into how disturbing and strange some holiday traditions really are.

Failed Resolutions

Mark's bizarre sleeping schedule, Bob drinks an entire handle of vodka, and Wade is - jogging? The guys discuss self improvement and whether or not New Year's is overrated.

The Perfect Meal

The guys discuss their cooking mishaps and oddly satisfying food creations.

Cryptids Are Scary

Mark's late-night descent into the "distressingmemes" subreddit sparks discussion of scary stories, including Bob and Wade's favorite cryptids.

Bad Habits

From nose picking to cigarette smoking, the guys start 2022 off by discussing their worst habits.

Beware The Candy Uncle...

Inspired by the Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, Mark challenges Bob and Wade to brainstorm creative ways to keep kids from eating too much candy.

Funniest Joke In The World

After reading an "official" list of the funniest jokes in the world and deciding they aren't that funny, Bob challenges Mark and Wade to find or make the funniest joke in the world, with Mark ultimately turning to AI for assistance.

Waste Of Money

The guys trade stories about losing embarrassing amounts of money. From Craigslist scams to mobile games, yard sales and more.

The Distractible Threesome

In honor of Valentine's Day, the guys show their devotion by answering The New York Times' "36 Questions that Lead to Love".

The Worst Piece Of Sh*t Episode Ever

Bob hosts and absentmindedly goes over an entire topic that the guys have already discussed in an earlier episode, leading to him having a breakdown. Also, Wade's dogs are fine, thanks for asking.

Criminally Subliminal

Love them or hate them, we live in a world of advertisements. The guys discuss nostalgic commercials, the psychology behind ads and how they approach recording their own ads for Distractible.

Hill I Will Die On

Prepare for a lot of hot takes as the guys explore their own and argue about them.

Pet Stories

The guys reminisce about hilarious and chaotic pet-related memories.

Disappointing Our Parents

Quitting jobs, sneaking porn, having a run-in with the police, today the guys chat about times they upset their parents.

Superstitions

Bob hosts while Wade reveals his secrets for the Cincinnati Bengals' future success in football, and Mark theorizes that human compulsions might come from a simulation.

Self Confidence

Wade wonders where he and the guys got their confidence, while Mark and Bob share their tips for public speaking and dealing with self-doubt.

We Die On Your Hills

Inspired by the guys' previous discussion about their own hot takes, they scour the Distractible subreddit in search of hills that the listeners will die on, and discuss whether or not they agree.

Serotonin

From TikToks with bad auto-tune, to nostalgic educational computer games, the guys dive into what gives them a serotonin boost.

Oh No, The Future UwU

The guys discuss fears of things yet to come, while Mark struggles to keep Wade on topic.

Aliens Among Us

Does our solar system have a tenth planet? Are there really UFOs flying around earth? And what the hell is a tardigrade? The guys answer all these questions and more while discussing potential evidence for life elsewhere in the universe.

So Bad It's Good

Junk food, the Scary Movie franchise, Slenderman, sometimes things are so bad they might just be good after all.

Wade's Secret Words

In this new episode format, Judge Wade let's the listeners in on his secret points system, but leaves Mark and Bob in the dark as they struggle to collect as many points as they can.

F*ck You Energy

The guys discuss times in their life where their pure rage and annoyance were transformed in the most interesting and productive of ways.

We Got Screwed

Labyrinthian healthcare services, customer service "assistance", and unobserved restaurant reservations: the guys talk about specific times they've been screwed over by life.

The Bobs & The Bees

In yet another classic episode revolving around Bob, Mark and Wade are assigned the responsibility of raising Bob throughout his childhood and teaching him important life lessons along the way, in their own ways.

Who's The Worst

The guys play a game of "Morals or NO Morals" and end up focusing on the latter.

Don't Laugh

Wade creates a new points system once again, pitting Mark's laughter against Bob's laughter.

The Atrocities Of Summer

Bob and Wade trade stories about summer injuries, while Mark deviates into delusion.

Anything Goes

Mark leaves things up to chance for Bob and Wade in this new game mode featuring a blaring alarm and randomly generated countdowns.

Worst World Records

Bob shares the story of Sir Hugh Beaver, while Mark and Wade compete to find the most shocking and disturbing World Records.

Conspiracy Theories

The Aladdin Exception, Ghost Kitchens, Edward Snowden and The NSA: the guys dive deep (but not too deep) into some of their favorite conspiracy theories.

Before We Die

The boys play Hot or Not: Bucket List Edition, plus share some of their personal Bucket List items.

The Boys Bet It All

Mark whips up a new timed game mode where Bob and Wade race to Google topics. The slower they take to find their topic, the more points they get deducted and added to the winners pot.

Fast Food Tier List

The legendary Raising Cane's, the classic McDonald's, the scarce Fazoli's: see where the boys rank these and many other fast food spots.

The Distractible Game Show

Bob prompts Mark and Wade to share their favorite game shows, then surprises them with his own game show for them to compete in.

Bob Doesn't Know

Instead of dual hosting, Mark and Wade compete in a secret game of their own, leaving Bob in the dark.

Go With Your Guy

Door-to-door salesman, house parties going too far, love at first sight: today the guys talk about the accuracy of their gut feelings.

Musical Memories

First kisses, funny dances, going on stage: today the guys talk certain songs that transport them to specific life moments.

Solving The Unsolvable

Why humans sleep, the creator of the universe, alien life: today the guys attempt to solve these great mysteries.

Broken News

In the spirit of the Distractible Live episodes on the Distractible Youtube channel, Mark takes Bob and Wade through a variety of headlines and news articles. Riffing ensues.

Video Game Tier List

Bob's hot take on Pokémon, Markiplier's true feelings on Five Nights at Freddy's, find out where the guys rank these games and more.

Naked

The guys share awkward spa stories, then rank the best/worst places to be naked.

The Bait Debate

Today the guys troll specific media fandoms by giving them hot take bait.

Big Or Small

What is better, big or small? Today the guys decide once and for all by giving their personal opinions prompted by Bob's list of items.

Change

Recorded live and with the guys in the same room for the first time in 5 years, today Wade throws it back to tour with a favorite improv game... CHANGE!

Candy Tier List

Today the guys compile a contentious tier list about all different kinds of candy, just in time for Halloween.

Devil's Advocate

Mark invites Bob and Wade to alternate playing the Devil's Advocate for a variety of agreed upon, and not so agreed upon social norms and behaviors.

Would You Rather

Bob forces Mark and Wade to pick their poison, having to decide between several pairs of awful scenarios.

Thank You

Today the guys celebrate Thanksgiving with genuine outpourings of gratitude, which Mark the host, of course, converts to numerical point values.

I Tried So Hard And Got So Far But In The End It Didn't Even Matter

Today Bob's story of Google Glass inspires Mark and Wade to find great stories of failure in history.

One Paw In The Grave

Wade's emotional roller coaster of a story takes center stage as he explains the strange coincidences surrounding a close call with his beloved cat. Oh, and Bob gives a fridge update.

We're NOT Getting Old

Bob takes Mark and Wade through a list of strange, unorthodox and disgusting anti-aging methods to decide if the treatments are worthwhile.

Don't Say Christmas

Wade's Secret Words is back, but this time there's only a single word in the game: Christmas.

The Perfect Day

Bob and Wade derail Mark's profound and dedicated search for the perfect day upon which to base your life in the new year and beyond.

Good Bad Habits

You know the guys are getting older, but now it's time they try to convince you their bad habits are actually good.

You Member?

Bob gives an update on his newborn baby, James, then pivots the topic to memory. The guys then discuss some of their first memories and how they think memories actually work.

The Ick

Inspired by a post from the official Distractible subreddit, the guys discuss things that give them the ever illusive, yet always unnerving "ick".

Bob's Baby

In an episode that takes a more serious turn, Bob recounts the unexpected and emotionally taxing circumstances surrounding his son's birth, and how they affected him and his wife.

Wade's Silly Choices

A major tone switch from the last episode, Wade is hosting and makes Mark and Bob talk through strange and hilarious scenarios. From having the worst super power imaginable, to living in a world ruled by clowns, and more.

Friendship Test: Mark Edition

Who is the better friend? Today, Bob and Wade's friendship with Mark is put to the test via some Mark-based trivia.

Profession Confessions

Bob hosts a conversation about uncomfortable job stories, embarking the guys on a wild trip down memory lane.

The Masks We Wear

On a more serious note than normal, the guys discuss the metaphorical mask, which social situations we put our masks on for, and whether those masked versions of ourselves are really us.

Distractible: The Musical

The guys star in an improvised musical about video games, news, or anything else that comes to mind.

The Emmy Losing Episode

Another classic Wade episode with an excellent topic: making the perfect video game. Except it goes horribly wrong. Or does it? Because during today's conversation, no one can seem to agree on anything.

Am I The Asshole?

A special mid-week episode, today the guys celebrate their first VIDEO PODCAST (video available only on Spotify!), by digging through the r/AmItheAsshole reddit page! P.S. New episodes will continue Mondays AND Fridays moving forward! Prepare to be doubly distracted...

Good Advice?

Heads or tales, good or bad, riddles or rhymes?!? Find out on today's episode... Also, Wade has Covid.  P.S. Don't forget to look out for another new Distractible episode Friday! Episodes will release Mondays AND Fridays from now on!

The Shoe Game

Mark and Wade are getting married?!? Well, not exactly, but Bob still wants them to get to know each other using a fun wedding shower game.

The Fairest Episode Ever

Joking jokers joking about jokers and joker-ing each other's jokers... but, trust us, it's fair.

Just Relax

If you can believe it, today the constantly distracted boys ~attempt~ to guide each other in some calming and vaguely focused meditations.

Self Actualization

Today, supremely confident host, Wade, challenges contestants Mark and Bob to get vulnerable and talk about the insecurities around their achievements.

Wonders Of Our World

Mark and Wade compete, pitching various monuments, achievements, and artifacts, hoping to make them onto Bob's list for the seven new wonders of ~their~ world.

Video Game Tier List (Part 2)

Wade celebrates his birthday (sort of) by continuing the burls' video game tier list.

Would You Rather (Part 2)

The dudes are back to continue where they left their all-telling game of Would You Rather.

Our Firsts

Bob, Mark, and Wade reminisce, cringe, and sing about some of their first experiences.

Wade's Questions

Much like his fashion sense, Wade's topic today is... just a random collection of things he threw together.

Million Dollars, But...

Mark offers the guys 1 million dollars, but for weird consequences. The coin flip at the beginning? Nah, that's not important at all.

Who's Better

Today, Mark and Wade die. Yes, you read that right. And Bob, the celestial arbiter, decides what becomes of them: the good place or the bad place?

Riddles & Rhymes

Two hosts! One of them speaks in riddles, the other speaks in rhymes...

Ohio Stuff

The boys talk Ohio like only true Ohioans can! Plus, another member of Distractible finds out they have ADHD.

Bread

Wade gets a ~rise~ out of Mark and Bob by making them argue about bread.

Three Peens In A Pod

Mark throws it back to the guys' old livestreaming format, Wade calls in from vacay, and Bob flips his lid... or should I say... doesn't?

The Wheel Of Fate

A wheel, a random topic generator, and a timer: sounds like a Mark episode, doesn't it? Nope, somehow it's a Wade episode.

Will You Press The Button?

You can shapeshift into anyone, EXCEPT yourself... You become the most beautiful person on earth, BUT you are only as smart as a 3rd grader... You get to be apart of your favorite movie, BUT you have to be the antagonist... Find out if the guys would press those buttons and say yes to these fun, funny, and occasionally dark scenarios.

Hypocrisy?

The topic is hypocrisy and they barely talk about their hypocrisies??? Hypocrites!

Artificial Intelligence

Today, the guys discuss the ramifications of recent updates in AI. Did ChatGPT write this, or is this something a human would say?

What I Want

A lighter turn from last episode, today the dudes dive into what they hope the future holds for civilization 100 years from now.

Bob Wins This Episode

The boys obsess over their current favorite gadgets, gizmos, and doodads.

I'm Better

Xbox vs Playstation, LeBron vs Jordan, Skyline vs Gold Star... A lot of times, strong opinions can be silly, no matter how competitive or passionate people get about them.

Listener Q&A

Today the topic is effectively chosen by YOU, the listeners and viewers! Will your personal question be answered? Listen to find out!

I Wasn't Ready

College, customer service calls, pyramid schemes: today the guys discuss the things they weren't ready for when heading into adulthood.

Rage

Mark urges the guys to dig deep and find moments in their past full of unbridled rage...

Weird

Wade listing off some of Earth's most bizarre animals leads Bob and Mark to get weird in their own ways.

Weird (Part 2)

Internet issues, Mark being chaotic, Wade being teased, and Bob talking about TikTok trends. Yeah... sounds like a weird, completely unique episode.

Weird (Part 3)

But of course! The third member of the Distractible trifecta must also guide a chat about ~the weird~. This time, it's weird real estate.

YouTubers For YouTubers

What YouTubers are ~our YouTubers~ subscribed to? Hear their niche and fascinating channel recommendations on today's show!

It's Mark's Birthday

Today on Distractible, the guys find out how Mark's Birthday connects to their most profound moments of love.

Whimsical Headlines

This is NOT Weird Part 4, I repeat, this is NOT Weird Part 4...

I Quit (Part 1)

The guys are FINALLY back! But where have they been? Listen as Mark talks about his emotional adventure from the ER to South Korea, and Bob blames Wade on Twitter for the missing episodes. #blamewade

You Ever Feel A Feel?

It's getting emotional up in here, as Wade hosts and asks the guys what films, music, and games hit them right in the feels.

Microplastics Solved Forever

Guess what's probably lurking inside of you right now? That's right... Microplastics! Mark hosts as Bob & Wade go head to head in the ultimate debate of whether these tiny invaders are destroying or benefiting our planet.

I Quit (Part 2)

We mean it this time. WE QUIT! Not really... but watch as Bob, Wade, and Mark share their spooky, dangerous, and embarrassing professions that made them decide to quit and move forward.

Mac Vs. PC

The age old debate among computer users FINALLY gets addressed... which is better: Macs or PCs? Watch as Bob and Wade debate over which one of Mark's computers should be destroyed IMMEDIATELY.

Reading

Reading? Reading books? Ever heard of it? Mark, Bob, and Wade definitely have. They do it all the time... For sure.

Distractible Tier List

Wade singing songs, Bob becoming Guru Harold, Mark not being able to stop talking about AI: find out where the burls would rate the subreddit's favorite podcast bits!

Aliens Among Us (Part 2)

It's time to once again venture into the great unknown world of tic-tac ships and octopuses/octopi, and see if the recent UFO Congressional hearings mean that there truly is life elsewhere in our universe...

Dicebreakers!

The guys answer classic icebreakers, but with the caveat that their dice roll must correspond to the quality of their answer. This ep's obviously a 'natty 20.

Subreddit Enemy No. 1

Reddit nemesis Marq-Eye-Blier urges his fellow burls to pitch him their best (and worst) Distractible episode ideas.

Feels Like Home

There's no place like home. But what makes a place feel like home? Is it the memories? The amenities? Or maybe it's Ohio. Yeah, it's probably just Ohio. Also, have any of you seen Baldermort anywhere...?

Why Animal There?

Bird hit window. Mouse in pool. Raccoon with... Grandma? Some time animal in place it shouldn't.

Doing it Wrong

Whatever these guys are doing, they're definitely doing it wrong. Watch as Bob, Mark, and Wade discuss the various things they do wrong on a daily basis.

Philoso-NO

An extremely enthusiastic Wade invites Bob and Mark to ponder several philosophical questions and ends up with varying results... but does anything really "end" anyway?

Five Nights At Freddy's Tier List

The King of FNAF himself hosts another Tier List, acting as arbiter for divvying up the "citizens" of his domain.

Markiplier and Friends

Today Mark has two random friends on the pod to talk about his favorite things: hard drives, weird news, and space.

Five Night's At Freddy's Tier List (Part 2)

Mark's reign continues, but this episode honestly goes in D Tier for: "Didn't We Already Do This One?"

Wade's Food Questions

In quintessential Distractible fashion, Wade asks Mark and Bob questions which their "distractible" nature makes quite difficult to answer.

Distractible Escape Room

Do Mark and Wade have the knowledge and friendship to escape Bob's magical, whimsical, and sometimes sexual universe of puzzles?

Whose Podcast Is It Anyway?

Put on your Drew Carey glasses, hawaiian shirts, and bald caps! This episode is an homage to the show where everything is made up and the points don't matter!

Mark Hates The Moon

Mark explains his nearly inexplicable hatred toward a redditor who posts high resolution pictures of the moon and wonders if Bob and Wade have any similar situation.

Bob's Confusing Words

If points were breakfast, our ulotrichous host allows but a jentacular tittynope for our nonplussed contestants to fight over. Find out what that insane sentence means on today's episode!

Front Page News

Breaking News: Wade challenges Bob and Mark to go out in the field to find the most juicy, mind-blowing, and controversial news stories that are sure to make headlines... probably.

Distractible Riddle Realm

Mark rips off Bob and Mandy.

Wade, Bob, and Friend

Bob and Wade punish Mark.

Illegal Advice

Mark elicits Bob and Wade to give him advice for a variety of average problems. Of course, they can't give true legal council, so they give illegal or otherwise unscrupulous solutions.

Are These Gaffes?

The wickedly talented Wade enlists his contestants to find their favorite giraffes-- I mean gaffes, sorry. Find out if Mark and Bob actually listen to their host or if the episode becomes one big gaffe in itself.

I Don't Know What I Expected

Bob makes Mark and Wade take personality tests. They discuss how accurate their results are and if they were even worth doing in the first place...

Worth It

Yes, Mark has obsessions. And many times, those obsessions are expensive. Today we find out if Bob and Wade have any obsessions that they feel are worth the questionable cost.

Boo!

Ah! You scared me! But what does it take to scare the guys? Find out as Wade, Mark, and Bob discuss what makes something truly horrifying.

Tricks or Tropes?

Are Bob and Wade's knowledge of horror tropes as particular and knowledgable as Mark's? Find out on today's spooky gameshow...

King Of Horror Hill

From Michael Myers, to Freddy Krueger, to Nemesis, to the Gingerdead Man, who comes out on top as the ultimate horror villain?

The Pre Of Life

What are "Ghosts?" Are they real? If so, what are they made of? Watch as the guys try to solve the mysteries of the spiritual world.

No Thank You

As we enter the Thanksgiving season, the guys start with discussing what things make them say NO THANKS! And yeah, Mark's eye surgery is on my list too... (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED)

Curious Conspiracy Corner

Bob, Wade, and Mark attempt to separate fact from fiction, venturing into the curious world of conspiracy theories. Maybe even a little too far...

News Everyone!

Mark's all out of ideas, Bob is confused and scared, and Wade actually tries for once.

Bullsh*t

Wade, Mark, and Bob talk about bullsh*t. That's pretty much it.

Voice Me, Dammit!

The guys talk Mark's volcano scare, bad airports, and the voices animals would have if they could speak.

Boy, I Miss That

Wade tells the epic story of his terrifying journey to pick up and deliver a wedding cake. Plus the guys reminisce about the nostalgic things they miss from their younger-years. After all, they are getting older.

Self Diagnosis, Best Diagnosis

Dr. Markiplier completely legitimately and credibly screens Bob and Wade for ADHD.

Appeasing Our A.I. Overlords

A.I. is going to take over sooner or later, so the guys may as well use it's suggestions for episode topics.

Actually Nothing

Look deep into our eyes... what do you see? Nothing? Yep, that pretty much sums up today's episode.

Return Of The Gingerdead Man

Wade, Bob, and Mark put holiday characters head to head with each other, to see who comes out on top. But who could possibly beat the derisiveness of the clever confectionery that is the "Gingerdead Man?"

You're Dumb, We're Smart, Here's Why

Hear us out. And when we're done, don't say anything. Bob, Mark, and Wade discuss their philosophical opinions on past, present, and future generations.

Live, Laugh, Lose

Wade, Bob, and Mark talk about how they balance stress, relaxation, and work ethic in their day to day lives. Also everything Mark says is wrong, and we have science to prove it (we think).

"Not" "Financial" "Advice"

Mark, Bob, and Wade are gonna show you how to make serious bank and get rich fast with these totally legit and definitely NOT illegal tips.

Evil League Of Evil

Let out your best maniacal laugh for Bob, Mark, and Wade as they explore their villainous alter egos and compete for a seat on the "Evil League of Evil!"

That's Stupid, Let's Do It

Wade, Bob, and Mark recount memories of painful, embarrassing, ballsy and butt-y moments of stupidity.

Confusing Christmas Words

Twas the episode on Christmas, and all through the podcast: Bob sings weird carols. Wade gets harassed. Mark talks about lenses. Isn't that a surprise? Merry Christmas to all, from your favorite three guys.

We Hate Christmas

Bah, Humbug! Now that Christmas is over, the guys can finally express all of their least favorite parts of the holiday season.

New Year, New Brain

Happy New Year! Naturally, the guys celebrate by taking an existential journey down the dystopian rabbit hole of linking human brains with AI.

We Forgot To Stretch

Wade, Mark, and Bob talk about their new year resolutions, what they wish they accomplised last year, and do a WHOLE lot of stretching.

What Distractible Stands For

The guys decide to put their reputations on the line.

Gifts, Holes, and Powers

Wade's gifts, Bob's holes, and Mark's superpowers.

How Do You Know?

Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the times when they instinctively knew what to do.

Wadey's Wittle Phiwosophy Hour

Would Mark, Bob, or Wade eat each other to survive? Find out during this wittle intewectual talk hosted by phiwosopher Wade.

Wade Wins

You asked, we listened. This episode has one goal: to make Wade the winner. We wouldn't want to disappoint the subreddit, would we?

We're Getting Older

Pull up a chair with lumbar support and pour yourself a cup of weak tea. Because it's time for the guys to face the facts that they are getting older. But only one can be the oldest.

Chess 3

Mark is here to introduce to you and the guys the greatest game that the podcast world has ever witnessed: Chess 3!

Squid Game Too

Players Bob (420), Mark (069), and Wade (000) discuss which childhood games would be perfect for Squid Game competitions.

I CAN FLY!

Mark, Bob, and Wade discuss those new fangled flying machines the young folk are talking about.

Dr.Bob's Real Boy Test

Oh boy! Here comes Dr. Bob with a brand new test for Mark and Wade to see which of them have what it takes to be a "real boy."

Wade Wins (Part 2)

All hail, Wade. Wade is the king of Distractible. This is his episode, his kingdom. Everything is great. We are definitely not being held against our will. All hail, Wade.

Wade Games

They conquered the “Escape Room,” they outsmarted the “Riddle Realm,” but can Mark and Bob survive the treacherous challenges that await them in the “Wade Games?”

The Council Of Distractible

Three hosts, one episode. After nearly two years, the floor is finally open to lay down the law and finish the first Constitution of Distractible.

You'll Never Believe What Happened

Mark, Bob, and Wade meet Jesus.

This Is Our Roman Empire

AI Will Smith, Helldivers 2, and listening to your heart. That's what Distractible is really all about.

It's Okay, We're Engineers

This episode has something for everyone: TIkTok miners, Warhammer PowerWashing, and boat sex.

Games Are Getting Older

Time makes you bolder, video games get older, and the guys are getting older too.

We Are The Main Character

Are we living in a simulation? The dudes venture down the rabbit hole to finally discover the truth... maybe.

Tear Down These Balls

In a world of surge pricing, beanie babies, Kit-Kats, and sperm, Distractible always prospers.

Pants

Mark is running out of pants, so Bob and Wade are his only hope.

How To Milk Your Dinosaur

Open the door, get on the floor, everybody milk your dinosaur.

Power

With great power, comes great Distractibility.

Old Is Awesome

It's getting harder to recognize the guys through all that gray hair and wrinkles.

No Topic Left Beef

Coming to an IMAX theater near you: Revenge of the Naked Licking VTuber Professors.

Wrong Answers Only

Mark forces Bob and Wade at knife point to go against their common sense.

Do You Fear Death-uh?

Wade, Bob, and Mark talk all things deadly and what it means to live life to the fullest.

The Best Episode Of Distractible Anyone Has Seen Or Heard Ever

We've finally done it. We've created the perfect Distractible episode that will surely bring this podcast to #1 across the universe.

Cake Or AI?

Technologically impaired Wade guesses which cursed images are real, and which are artificially made.

Cake Or AI Too

Still technologically impaired Wade guesses which random descriptions are real vs artificially made.

Chugging Hot Tub Water

Grab your mugs filled with covid water and maple syrup, because Wade has got a doozy of a story for you.

Uplifting Children's Stories

Once upon a time, in the land where podcasts remain, Mark and Wade write very strange stories for Bob's son James.

The Cursed Man

Is Wade cursed? Probably. Time to do something about it.

Bad Or Worse

What could be worse than not listening to Distractible? Trick question, there is nothing worse.

At Least 20 Questions

Bob challenges Wade and Mark to a relaxing (not at all rage inducing) game of 20 Questions.

20 More Questions (At Least)

Time to give Bob a taste of his own medicine, and drive Mark even more towards insanity, with another round of 20 Questions!

Animal Noises

Old Mark-plier had a farm. E.

There Is No Excuse

There is no excuse for not listening to Distractible. Except maybe when driving...

It's Over, It's Done

Wade honors your mom, Bob gets harassed by a spider, and Mark has a very special announcement.

1000 Hour Energy

Mark doesn't want to live forever, he just wants to see how much living his body can take.

World Wade Supremacy

THEY'RE TRYING TO STOP US! TAKE THIS EPISODE, STUDY IT'S CONTENT, AND PROTECT IT AT ALL COSTS! DO IT NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LA- *offline*

Naming 100 Women

100 women vs the 3 dudes. Also Mark can't spell.

My Body Betrayed Me

Wade attempts to lower the self esteems of Mark and Bob.

Two Truths And A Lie

Must... have... a peaceful... and not... rage filled... game episode!

Shotgun Roulette

So it's come to this... all the drama, the chapstick, the baldness. Now, it's just Wade, Bob, Mark, and a gun.

The Inaugural Boat Episode

Captain Mark, First Mate Bob, and Wade board the S.S. Distractible to sail the seven seas in search of the ultimate treasure: new laws for the constitution.

We Should Buy A Movie Theater!

Buckle up, grab your popcorn, and call the best lawyer you know. Because it's time for a Distractible Road Trip to the movies!

The Room Where It Happened

The guys finally return back to the place where it all began. (With special guest star: Momiplier)

We Might Have Started The Fire

Wade desperately seeks help from the guys to update Billy Joel's classic hit.

20 Easy Questions

Bob successfully destroys Mark and Wade's egos with trivia.

It's Mark's Birthday (Part 2)

Happy Birthday Mark! To celebrate, we made some non-artificially dyed punch that you can soak up with your balls!

Best Of Times, Worst Of Times

The guys have seen a lot of good and bad things in their time. Especially Wade, since he’s such an ancient being.

Saving You Money

Because the only money you should be spending is at distractiblestore.com

The Dumb Of Humanity

I stupid. You stupid. He/she/me, stupid.

Sorry For My Singing

Bob, Mark, and Wade make sweet sweet music with each other.

Red 40, Set Hut!

Red red dye, goes to Mark's head.

A Special Message For Our Listeners

Wade, Mark, and Bob embark on a mission to design the perfect mascot for Distractible.

Glauber Salt

This salty Distractible episode uses cookies, which may or may not be made by secretive elves.

Theater Of The Mind

The inner machinations of Wade's mind is an enigma...

Tongue Twisters

Distracted Dudes Look Dumb Doing Daunting Dictions.

Worm Love

Would you still love Distractible if it was a worm?

The Last Great Debate

Bob, Wade, and Mark reveal themselves as the master debaters they really are.

Wade's Secret Words (Part 2)

Shhh! There's a new, secret twist to this sequel of the classic Distractible episode.

Big Or Small (Part 2)

The question stills needs answering, and the dudes are here to finally solve it...again: Big or Small?

Get More Stupider

Stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.

On Success

Bob, Mark, and Wade reflect on the little victories and major milestones they've had over the years.

The Dumb Of Introverts

Please don't talk to us, talk to Wade instead. He's the extrovert.

Mark's Secret Words

Step aside Wade, it's time for Mark to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words." Maybe...

We Won't Get Banned For This (NSFW)

(WARNING: NSFW) Distractible: Bridging the gap between porn and podcasts since 2024.

Conspiracy. CHANGE!

Are conspiracy theories a game to you?! Good, because that's exaclty what Mark has turned them into.

Bob's Secret Words

Step aside Wade and Mark, it's time for Bob to show us all how to properly do "Secret Words"... again...

Best Of The Old Ads (Part One)

After years of excruciating research and archaeological breakthroughs, the long lost Distractible ad reads have finally being unearthed!

Talent

Wade shines the spotlight on Bob and Mark to showcase their hidden talents and their envy of other people's talent.

WikiHow About Now?

Time to crack open the ole Distractopedia and see if Bob, Mark, and Wade can match the correct (and severely cursed) WikiHow image to it's title.

Nah, I'd Win

It's a mouse... it's a fly... it's a salmon... no! It's Wade and Bob using their animal instincts to defeat predators in Mark's game.

The Episode You Can Taste

This episode will leave a good, a bad, and perhaps a poo milk taste in your mouth.

All Nighters

We learn what keeps Mark, Bob, and Wade up at night.

The Most Cursed Moments

With the spookiest of seasons approaching, there's no better way to pregame than by reflecting on some of the most horrifying moments to ever occur in Distractible history.

What Song Do You See?

Mark and Wade press shuffle on Bob's playlist and let their minds go on a journey.

Try New Things

The dude's reminisce about the good, the bad, and straight up weird experiences they've had with trying new things.

Get More Stupider (Part 2)

"Looks like stupid is back on the menu, boys!"

Parlor Games

It's all fun and games until we bring out the sweaty lawyers and Wade's camera cuts out. NOTE: This episode was recorded months prior, but is being released now to work with the host schedule.

QUITTER!

You know what they say: Quit while you're a bald head.

Two Sentence Horror Stories

Boo Bob, Wicked Wade, and Mark put their years of spoopy gaming experience to the test in this ghastly challenge.

More Villain Awards

Is the Gingerdead Man's derisiveness and Lady Dimitrescu hypnosis over Mark powerful enough to earn them the highest award Wade can give?

Never Hug Your Teacher

Mark, Wade, and Bob have a good ole fashioned cringe measuring contest.

Definitely Real Things

The guys are spreading the good word in Bob's new game for Mark and Wade.

Wadey's Wittle Phiwosophy Hour (Part 2)

Phiwosopher Wade has weturned with an even warger question to expwore: Do we have fwee will?

Edutainment!

Professor Mark gives students Bob and Wade the hefty assignment to find the most entertaining and educational content before dismissal.

Get Mad Libs

Wade is (adjective) to be (verb)ing Mark and Bob the challenge to (verb) in this new (noun) all about Mad Libs.

Wade Is Sopping

Bob's word games always get us dripping with excitement.

The Election Episode

Distractible: America's #1 trusted news source brings you all of the exclusive and unbiased coverage you need for the 2024 presidential election. Pig orgasms.

Nah, I'd Win (Part 2)

Never interrupt a pig during his 30 minute orgasm. NEVER.

Florida or No Florida?

Bob, Mark and Wade find out if what happens in Florida stays in Florida.

Wade For President

Together, we can Make America Wade Again!

Top 10 Things

Mark, Wade, and the Mysterious Ghost of Muyskerm climb the ranks by guessing the "Top Ten Things" in Bob's categories.

Bob's Fridge (Part 2)

There are two certainties in life: Mark will ALWAYS have obsessions, and Bob will NEVER be able to own a decent fridge.

The Cost Is Correct

If you're having extreme tech issues or dropping your used prophylactics in restaurants… COME ON DOWNNN!!! You’re the next contestant on “The Cost Is Correct!”

Mark of Theseus

Have you heard of the Mark of Theseus?

What's Wrong With Video Games?

Forget about video games, Mark bought a kilogram of WHAT?!?!

[Insert Topic Here]

[Insert description about Mark not having an episode idea here.]

Merry Christmas, Bob!

Oh, by gosh, by golly! It's time for buying gifts for Bobby.

New Year, Old Us

Three! Two! One! We Failed! Oh, and happy new year I guess...

Does Order Matters?

New additions to the "Distractible Trigger Kit": a sandwich, a bowl of cereal, and un-torn wrapping paper.

Time and Stuff

It's always the right time for Distractible. Except maybe while driving.

The Distractible Paradox

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to listeners or viewers. It is a dimension as vast as Mark's hyper-fixations, and lies between the surface of Wade's head and the summit of Bob's knowledge of phone cases. This is the dimension of distraction. It is an episode which we call... The Distractible Paradox.

Where Am I?!

Pilot Captain Wade takes Mark and Bob on a flight across the country to gaze down upon the oddly named towns of America. And Russia. And Ancient Greece. Wait...

Knives, Fire, and Pickup Trucks

As the podcast returns: Mark recounts his evacuation, Wade still doesn't have a car, and Bob is... the host.

There's An Easter Egg At 43:51

Better keep your eyes open, bidets spraying, and reusable toilet paper wiping for this unbelievable easter egg.

Order Matters Too

Welcome to the Distractible Cafe! Enjoy a nice hot cup of Mark's Finger Espresso or Wade's Frog Coffee, while relaxing in a chair that was assembled the wrong order by Bob.

More Broken News

Wade gets himself canceled.

Big Dog Energy

No animals were harmed in the making of this episode. Mostly because Mark doesn't know how to use a gun.

Acronyms, But Better

Dudes Innovatively Spell The Right Acronyms Correctly Tonight (Nailed it.)

WordPad Broke

All of Wade's beautiful ideas... gone. Oh well, at least we still have kinky clowns, rooftop ninjas, and extra powerful bidets.

Mark Prepared For This

Cloacas, buttholes, and toxic gas. That can only mean one thing... Mark's hosting!

The Council of Distractible (Part 2)

The three founding fathers gather once again to re-evaluate the sacred text that is the "Distractible Constitution."

Mark's One Man Show

Mark's life flashes before his very eyes, at the whim of Bob and Wade.

When Was That Again?

When is this? Where am I? Who's asking me all these trivia questions? Why is that man putting a condom on a bullet? And why is that other man... BALD?!

Who Want Million?

I want million, you want million, we all want million! (Celebrity guest appearances by Bob's Dad and Benjamin Franklin.)

Right In The Sauce Box

Things are gettin' real saucy between Wade, Bob, Mark, George & Martha Washington, skating flies, briefcase puppies, and a whole lot of ketchup.

Hide The Penny

For the price of one penny, you could have all the toy trains, crusty socks, and dead bodies imaginable!

September 10th

Keep your hands, arms, feet, Pokémon and Blockbuster cards inside Mark's time machine at all times. And remember, every action has an equal and opposite distraction.

Our Shirts Are Out

A moist bear and a hot fox, both with soapy eyes, walk into a bar in Australia. One orders a "Kadoova", the other orders a "Chump." And let me tell ya, that bartender got the greatest e****ion you've ever seen in your entire life.

We've Never Done This Before

Look at my ice! It's time for some good ol' fashioned icebreakers with Bob!

The Best, The Worst

For better or for worse, this episode is about the best and the worst.

Illegal Advice Too

This episode of Distractible pleads the fifth. Any further information will require the presence of a lawyer. Or just get Bob or Wade, that should be good enough.

Faster or Slower?

Whether you like it fast or slow, Distractible is here to satisfy.

Animal Noises Too

This episode is brought to you by Walmart Subscriptions. Groceries and essentials, delivered on repeat. Welcome to your Walmart. Old Mark-plier had another farm. E.

Distractible Travel Guide: Cincinnati

The dudes are bringing it back home with this one.

Nah, I'd Win (Part 3)

WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD, large quantities of beans and hyperventilation.

Slice of Life

The Distractible Time Machine™ is still running, and this time Wade is in the driver's seat.

Even More Broken News

The internet's most reliable news source is back, but maybe not better than ever.

Wade Screws Up At 47 Minutes

Wade may have screwed up, but at least he's got the voice of an absolute angel.

The Perfecter Crime

Orange Is The New Distract.

Dippy Dawg Does Dunkirk

The greatest public domain story ever told finally comes to the big screen.

The Even More Perfecter Crime

Markiplier presents, "A Heist with Bob & Wade."

Weird (Part 4)

Can Wade sneak his oozing and thronging weirdness past Mark and Bob?

Who Is Us?

All of the Distractible crossovers you've dreamt off, jam-packed into one episode!

idk, some "Q"s

W asks B & M some grade A "Q"s.

Three Word Sales Pitch

Just because we don't have merch right now, doesn't mean we still can't try to sell you stuff!

Mark's Big Dumb Word Game

Mark wreaks revenge and havoc on Bob and Wade for all those definitely, totally not deserved losses.

A Disgusting Episode

Well, that was gross...

Don't Get Me Started

Is Mark's masochism, Bob's parental instinct, and Wade's Scottish accent enough to take down 100 gorillas? And we're only getting started...

Peekaboo!

Chef Wade is back in the kitchen serving up some more hot and steamy euphemisms, with a side of red onions and corn off the cob.

We Hate These States

The Yankee Doodle Daddies decide to do some long needed gerrymandering.

Bob's Small, Even Dumber Word Game

The guys play a word game so dumb, even a mechanic fixing Wade's plumbing could do it.

Somehow, Even More Broken News

The number one trusted news source for pregnant people, meat puppets, and parrots is back!

Sometimes We Just Chat

What's better than this? Guys being dudes.

They've Gone Too Far!

If the tech ain't broke, don't fix it. Unless you're Wade, in which case everything is broken.

Nah, I'd Win (Part 4)

Everyone's favorite role-playing game just got a whole lot more bald.

Sisyphean (Sis-uh-fee-uhn)

Bob and Wade must carry the weight of Mark's game on their shoulders.

Frog Sticks!

What do frogs, cluckin', Franz Ferdinand, and loud moans all have in common? Just ask Wade...

20 "Simple" Questions

It's been quite some time since Bob last decided torture Mark and Wade with trivia. Let's fix that right now.

Gaming News

Three "expert" gamers share their "expertise" on the past, present, and future of the gaming world.

I Farted During This Episode

How well do the guys know their own show? Also, do you smell something...

Fourth of Poo-ly

What's more American than releasing a 4th of July special 3 days after the 4th of July?

I Miss The Old Distractible

I liked Distractible before it was cool.

I See Two Paths

Look no further, you've come to the right place to gain sacred knowledge about crows, plants, geese, and zombies.

Don't Google Pin Buttock

"Bard" Bob doth take Wadeiam Shakespeare and Markbeth out for a night at the theatre.

Wade Lied To Us

Can we ever really trust Wade though? Anyone with that amount of shine is sure to have his secrets.

I Miss The Old Distractible (Part 2)

Back in my day, it used to cost only five cents to watch Mark, Bob, and Wade talk about maggots, beavers, and feces.

Oregon Trail

3 men, one trail, and a whole lot of dysentery and grandfather clocks.

Devil's Advocate (Part 2)

It's time for the devil once again to come collect what's owed to him: a strong argument.

Fourth of Poo-gust

The guys pop a squat and push out some topics for this steaming hot August episode.

Record Setting Guessing

Distractible has officially set the record for World's Best Dad, World's Baldest, and World's Shortest.

Size Matters

Mark puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test to see how they can make famous quotes.

Hot Takes, Cold Truths

Chef Wade Ramsay orders competitors Mark and Bob to the kitchen to cook up some cold-cut truths and sizzlin' hot takes.

Draw or Die

Mark challenges Bob and Wade to draw for their lives in this Pictionary style game.

Hinged or Unhinged

No more monkey-ing around, we have bigger fish to fry... then place in the restaurant bathroom.

Legend of The Monkey's Paw

The curse of the monkey themed episodes continues to linger as Wade gives Mark and Bob some profound choices to make.

Hide The Penny (Part 2)

You know it's time to search for pennies when Mark strips down and Wade starts speaking French.

Drama Alarm

The Distractible hosts are ready to take down the other chart-topping podcasts and reclaim their rightful position to number one.

Legend of The Monkey's Paw (Part 2)

Another unsolved mystery that started with $10,000 and ended in a knife fight.

What The Hell Is That?

Bob shares his big diction energy with Mark and Wade in his obscure word guessing game.

Anything Goes (Part 2)

Mark returns from his weekly hospital trip to warn us all about the dangers of eating vegetables.

Let's Get Deep

Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.

Bob's One Man Show

Bob encourages Mark and Wade to jump in the deep end of various topics.

For Folk's Sake

The guys prove that being an adult doesn't keep spoopy characters from attacking if you're naughty.

Shame, Shame, Shame

A walk of atonement is in order for the long list of people that Mark, Bob, and Wade have deemed the most shameful.

The Pee Covered Episode

The boys are finally back together again in Ohio, ready to let their streams of consciousness flow out in person. And from the looks of their streams, one of the guys is definitely allergic to Skyline, and another has a severe foot injury.

Wade Has An Interest

What happens on the Distracti-couch, stays on the Distracti-couch.

A Harrowing Journey

Before Wade hosts a game of "Would You Rather," Mark proves that the journey from Ohio isn't always a happy one.

Three Sentence Horror Stories

Make sure you got the scary tape handy, because you'll need to keep your hairs from standing after this spoopy episode.

In This Game... Only Letters, Friends

A Distractible episode is worth a thousand words.

The Cursed Episode

Wade continues to keep the spoopy season in gear by hosting a discussion about bald-chilling curses and legends.

The Oxford 3000

Bob returns with another word game that is guaranteed to absolutely destroy Mark and Wade's egos.

Nah, I'd Lose

Not all battles are worth winning.

World Record (Today)

Hiii...

Viewer Discretion Is Advised

View and listen with caution, because no amount of discretion is guaranteed to keep frog swallowing mouse nut babies at bay... especially tonight...

Bob's Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!)

He's making a list, and checking it twice. He's gonna find out who's bald or lacks height.

Please Laugh

Listeners, you're responsible for this...

King of the Friend Zone

Having a midlife crisis? Don't worry, the guys will make it all go away...

Wade's/Bob's/Mandy's Word Game (Featuring Markiplier)

Step aside Bob, there's a shiny new word-smith in town.

Anything Goes (Part 3)

Alternate Title: "Wade Struggles For 45 Minutes."

Get More Faster

The Distracti-menu specials for tonight are PB & J sandwiches and boiled eggs. And wait until you see what's for dessert...

Will It Into Existence

Another year is almost at a close, but that doesn't mean that there isn't plenty of balding- I mean... BLESSINGS to acknowledge and short-uh... SURE things to look forward to in 2026.

Size Matters (Part 2)

The ultimate test of endurance returns as Mark once again puts Bob and Wade to the linguistic test.

Squid Game (Even Too-er)

The cephalopod confab returns as the guys expound upon what childhood games they'd like to see in their own version of Squid Game.

Get Ready For A Lot of Ligolo

The guys alphabetically bring out the Christmas cheer with classic tales of elf prison breaks, fast food snowmen, gigantic Santas, and a whole lot of everyone's favorite character: Ligolo.

2026 Distractible Game Guide

New year, new games, same bald, same 'naise.

Make Wade Do It

Bob and Mark motivate Wade to start his 2026 New Year's resolutions.

Wade's One Man Show

The reviews are in, and critics are raving: "Finally! A star that out-shines the rest!" - The Minion Chronicle "If I said I didn't like it, that would be a bald-faced lie." - The Hairless Herald "I can't f**king see!" - Bob

Everybody Hates Dor

Mark's movie is almost out, Wade finds some time to relax, and Bob introduces his bouncing baby girl, Dor (but who tf cares about her.)

Snow Days

The guys bundle up for a trip down memory lane and share their (maybe) true stories from snow days.

Yeah, He'd Live

Your favorite Distractible game just got a whole lot more medical.

How Do You Pan?

The "Lost Boys" take a trip to Neverland to share the childhood things they'll never be too old for.

Mark's Big Dangerous Word Game

Is that the piercing sound of an explosion, or Mark trying to sing in falsetto? We'll never know... Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.

Draw Or Die (Part 2)

Wade's not bald, he's just drawn that way. Get set up quick and connect to their fast speeds.

Fortunately, Unfortunately

Fortunately, Wade has a new improv game for Bob and Mark. Unfortunately, bald.

Bad Mood

The three angy boys discuss what turns each of them into grumpy-wumpy-wumpersons.

I'm a Doctor!

Don't your worry your precious head, just relax and let the good doctors do their jobs. *Gun Gary walks in*

Solar System Tier List

Who's that peeping back at you through your telescope? Is it Mupiter? The Death Star Boob? One can only wonder...

News Flash!

Bob and Wade go into the field to bring the hottest, slipperiest, and trippiest scoops to you.

How to ABCs

Professor Wade "Bald" Barnes quizzes students Mark and Bob on their knowledge of the alphabet.

The Smell You Can Lick

Bob tries to make sense of Mark and Wade's senses.

Friday the 13th

WARNING: For today only, avoid recording ADR, baking bread, solving math equations, and watching movies starring Will Smith.

Dicebreakers Too!

Bob brings back a classic Distractible game, dicier than ever.

Buy My Thing!

What happened to Mark at the Oscars, and what's that under Bob's shoe?

That Sounds Good!

What do book fairs, dentists, and summer camp have in common? Well, the bible says...

Oxford 3000 AND TOO

Bob decides to raise Mark and Wade's blood pressure, to test their already fragile health.

Anything Goes (Part 4)

Anything is on the table when the horny penguins and metal pipes come out to play.

Mark's One Man Show (Part 2)

Dear Penthouse Forum, I can't believe it happened to him.

That Sounds Bad!

Bob and Wade make everything terrible for Mark.

Reverse Charades

Quick, get flat!

America vs Europe

No perfectest crime? Well hey, everyone makes mistakes.

The Council Of Distractible (Part 3)

Hear ye, hear ye! The council of three declare new laws for thee!

Fortunately, Unfortunately (Part 2)

Fortunately, Wade is finally hosting another episode! Unfortunately, he's still bald.

Hard or Soft?

The guys have a good ol' master debate session to answer the burning question: Hard or Soft?

Burnout

The guys have a heart to heart, bald to Bob, and Go to Pro conversation about their personal struggles with feeling burnout.

Doing Too Much

Welcome to "Mark's Sponsorship Dreams Gets Crushed Yet Again" Simulator.

Markiplier Likes That?

How well do Bald and Dad know Short?

Going Nuclear

Bald Bombs Away! Everyone take cover right- wait a minute... are you the guy from Distractible?

Unhappy Birthday

To cheer up Mark from being sick on his birthday, Bob and Wade share stories of their own bad birthday experiences.

Hoopst Was First?

This game about firsts is making me firsty.

The Perfectest Crime

Detectives Bob and Wade are on the case to piece together the clues left at the scene of the perfect crime.

Wade Definitely Has A Topic

The guys make up for lost small talk and discuss the highs and lows of this year so far.

Please Be Nice

Bob's foot is injured, and only Wade and Mark can save him from boredom.

I'm Wade. I'm Bald

He's bald. He's Wade.

Choose Your Own Cousin

Ask not what you can do for your cousin, but what you and your cousin can do for "The Shepherd."

Would I Lie To You?

Bob hosts a game built on lies.

Smell My Touch

Mark hosts a game that just makes sense.

Cincinnati Jeopardy

Bob + Jeopardy = No Secret Twists Whatsoever

Insider Gaming

Now that Mark has landed himself in jail, only the latest in gaming and insect technology can break him out.

Cloth Off The Bone

Mark and Wade play mind games with each other while Bob watches.

The Jerker Episode

The guys search for a happy ending to the sad times we're living in.

"Saving Grace" (The Scary Tapes)

Welcome to "The Scary Tapes", a speculative horror podcast competition by Real Good AI. This week's story is "Saving Grace" by Blake Bowen. Trigger Warnings: Death, Forced Captivity, Gaslighting, Gore, Medical Torture/Abuse, Medical Procedures, Torture, Victim Blaming, and Violence.

Grilled or Fried?

I like my Distractible episodes seared in a cast iron skillet until it gets crispy golden edges on all sides.

"These Hollows and Rivers" (The Scary Tapes)

Welcome to "The Scary Tapes", a speculative horror podcast competition by Real Good AI. This week's story is "These Hallows And Rivers" by Violet J. Williams. Trigger Warnings: Physical Abuse, Violence

Bob's One Man Show (Part 2)

For one night only (again), Bob returns to perform a one man show directed by Mark and Wade.

"Copper Point" (The Scary Tapes)

Welcome to "The Scary Tapes", a speculative horror podcast competition by Real Good AI. This week's story is "Copper Point" by Chelsea Herzog. Trigger Warnings: Animal Death, Death, Forced Captivity, Gaslighting, Gore, Mental Illness, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm/Suicide, Stalking, Victim Blaming, Violence, Cult and/or Religious Abuse

Our Strange Addiction

Bob and Wade rope Mark into in their poképroblem.

"The Mirror of Harry Aalders" (The Scary Tapes)

Welcome to "The Scary Tapes", a speculative horror podcast competition by Real Good AI. This week's story is "The Mirror of Harry Aalders" by Ronan Clarke.

Nah, I'd Win (Part 5)

Now featuring even more beans.

Ouroboros.Exe/Run (The Scary Tapes)

Welcome to "The Scary Tapes", a speculative horror podcast competition by Real Good AI. This week's story is "Ouroboros.Exe/Run" by Keely Davis. Trigger Warnings: Cannibalism, Child Endangerment, Forced Captivity, Kidnapping, Psychological Torture

Hex in The City (Part 1)

Mark and Bob ignore Bald God's plan for them.

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