Queye TV Clarkson's Farm
Reality
Comedy
Clarkson's Farm
TV-PG
2021
5 Seasons 40 Episodes
★ 8.5
🇬🇧
Follow Jeremy Clarkson as he embarks on his latest adventure, farming. The man who on several occasions claims to be allergic to manual labour takes on the most manually labour intensive job there is. What could possibly go wrong?

Episodes

Tractoring
Episode 1

Tractoring

Jeremy Clarkson embarks on his path towards muddy misery and potential ruin by running his own farm.

54m
Sheeping
Episode 2

Sheeping

Jeremy decides to get a flock of sheep, not realising the added complications these high-maintenance animals will bring.

51m
Shopping
Episode 3

Shopping

Jeremy Clarkson decides to open a farm shop to sell his own produce. This sounds like it should be easy. It isn't.

52m
Wilding
Episode 4

Wilding

Jeremy Clarkson decides to become a naturalist.

49m
Pan (dem) icking
Episode 5

Pan (dem) icking

As Covid-19 puts Britain on lockdown, Jeremy suddenly finds that his biggest worries aren't all related to the upcoming lambing season.

47m
Melting
Episode 6

Melting

Jeremy discovers why British farmers are always complaining about the weather. It's mostly because it never does what they want it to do.

42m
Fluffing
Episode 7

Fluffing

As the drought drags on and the harvest time gets closer, Jeremy and his motley crew have a fearsome list of jobs to complete.

41m
Harvesting
Episode 8

Harvesting

After months of hard work Clarkson's farm arrives at a make or break moment; harvest time.

54m
Surviving
Episode 1

Surviving

Jeremy Clarkson sets out to diversify, as a way of increasing his annual profit (£144 last year).

39m
Cowering
Episode 2

Cowering

Jeremy's new herd of cows settle in, but soon reject the fence that keeps them in.

51m
Schmoozing
Episode 3

Schmoozing

Faced with Council powers that be, Jeremy uses two of his greatest skills: diplomacy and respect for red tape.

49m
Badgering
Episode 4

Badgering

Jeremy Clarkson comes face to face with his nemesis: the badger.

44m
Council-ing
Episode 5

Council-ing

The day of the Council's decision on Jeremy's restaurant arrives.

44m
Counselling
Episode 6

Counselling

The fall-out from the Council's decision continues to fall out.

49m
Scheming
Episode 7

Scheming

Jeremy's restaurant idea is re-born, and there's not a moment to waste.

51m
Climaxing
Episode 8

Climaxing

Secret preparations accelerate for the opening of Jeremy's restaurant.

49m
Unfarming
Episode 1

Unfarming

We return to Diddly Squat to find the farm in turmoil. The Council has shut down the restaurant, the weather is making planting crops impossible and costs are on the up. Jeremy needs to formulate a new plan to get his farm through the year.

44m
Porking
Episode 2

Porking

Jeremy sets to work getting the farm ready for its newest residents, some Sand and Black pigs. Meanwhile Kaleb is annoyed when he spots someone else drilling in his fields.

46m
Jobbing
Episode 3

Jobbing

It's Christmas time on the farm and Kaleb gives Jeremy a festive surprise. However their relationship becomes strained as they bicker while getting on with the farms winter jobs.

48m
Harrowing
Episode 4

Harrowing

Jeremy treats Kaleb to something he hopes will help with his farming, and Lisa and Jeremy discover just how tough being pig farmers can be.

49m
Healing
Episode 5

Healing

Spring has sprung and rejuvinated Jeremy's farming the unfarmed idea, as he takes on multiple new projects to try and turn a profit from his unused land.. And there are some one week old arrivals to the farm to lift everyone's spirits.

52m
Mushrooming
Episode 6

Mushrooming

Jeremy's mushroom empire begins to appear all consuming as he struggles to keep on top of his newest venture and Kaleb and Charlie are off to London for a very important meeting.

50m
Parking
Episode 7

Parking

Team Diddly assemble for a much needed building project and Jeremy brings in the Chairman of the British Deer Society to help with the deer management issues on the farm.

52m
Calculating
Episode 8

Calculating

Harvest time arrives and is tenser than ever, as Jeremy and Kaleb find out how profitable both Jeremy's new projects and Kaleb's arable farming have been this year.

60m
Solo-ing
Episode 1

Solo-ing

Kaleb and Lisa are both away and Jeremy has been left to run the farm on his own. Help is soon needed, and the arrival of a new farmhand to ease the burden gives Jeremy space for some strategic thinking.

42m
Pubbing
Episode 2

Pubbing

Jeremy has found a promising pub, Diddly Squat’s newest arrival teaches him a thing or two about farming, and the ageing Lamborghini has competition.

46m
Crawling
Episode 3

Crawling

Relentless wet weather puts the crop planting in crisis, Kaleb returns to find another farmer on his patch, and while his pub search continues, in an effort to dry the soil Jeremy gets to grips with a new piece of kit.

40m
Cottaging
Episode 4

Cottaging

There’s a big new arrival at the farm, a much smaller one down in the pig pens, and it looks as though the pub search might finally be over.

45m
Endgaming
Episode 5

Endgaming

It’s the middle of May, the livestock are heading out to graze, and while the goats are going high-tech, the cows are getting a bull-friend. If only progress with the pub was as positive.

48m
Splurging
Episode 6

Splurging

With his pub plan finally taking shape, Jeremy heads to his first cattle market to buy up some beef. But calling in the experts to help get the pub off the ground, Jeremy soon discovers the costs are only just beginning.

40m
Hurrying
Episode 7

Hurrying

A diary cock-up turns the pub into a pressure cooker, and the start of the harvest runs Jeremy ragged. Team Diddly Squat will have to dig deep to get both across the line.

44m
Landlording
Episode 8

Landlording

It’s bank holiday weekend and the pub opens for business. Whether it stays open for business is another matter. Back at Diddly Squat, the harvest results come in and the curtain falls on another farming year.

52m
Operating
Episode 1

Operating

A health scare sees Jeremy looking for ways to make life at Diddly Squat less stressful. A new breed of sheep might help, but his new pub might not.

49m
Storming
Episode 2

Storming

Jeremy hatches a plan for the pub's first festive season, kicking off in style when the Farmer's Dog hosts a gig by one of Ireland's biggest bands. Elsewhere, farmers from across the UK gather to protest the government's latest tax hikes.

51m
Tripping
Episode 3

Tripping

It's the new year and Jeremy decides Diddly Squat needs a bold new direction. Diving headlong into the world of high-tech farming, he takes Kaleb on his first ever trip abroad to find out how it's done.

43m
Updating
Episode 4

Updating

Autonomous farming arrives at Diddly Squat. Which is just as well, because there are problems at the pub, and with the pigs.

54m
Decapitating
Episode 5

Decapitating

Diddly Squat 2.0 continues to take shape with a new farm office and the arrival of a droid. The snails, meanwhile, have been getting along famously, and the cows are due to give birth any day.

49m
Frazzling
Episode 6

Frazzling

Diddly Squat is basking in a sunny spell. There're baby animals aplenty, the high-tech crops are coming along nicely and there's a big night at the pub to look forward to. The only question is, when does a sunny spell become a drought?

55m
Sickening
Episode 7

Sickening

Jeremy busies himself with a project close to his heart, inviting over a local birdlife expert to offer advice on how Diddly Squat can be more friendly to its winged residents. And while things get heated when that advice clashes Kaleb's tried-and-tested farming ways, all is soon forgotten when - with the harvest looming - the farm is rocked by some devastating news.

51m
Reaping
Episode 8

Reaping

With the farm still reeling from its shock TB diagnosis, there's no time to dwell as the harvest arrives. This year's will be like no other, and only once the results are in can the Diddly Squat family take stock of this rollercoaster of a farming year.

71m

Cast

Jeremy Clarkson

Self - Host

Kaleb Cooper

Self - Farmer

Charlie Ireland

Self - Land Agent

Lisa Hogan

Self

Gerald Cooper

Self

Crew

Peter Richardson

Producer

Peter Fincham

Executive Producer

Andy Wilman

Executive Producer

Zoe Brewer

Executive Producer

Nick Dalton

Editor

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