Episodes
Pilot
At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo.
To Market, to Market
"To Market, to Market" is the second episode of M*A*S*H. It was first aired on September 24, 1972 and repeated on April 29, 1973. Like many other M*A*S*H episodes, this one parodies army bureaucracy. Thieves hold up a truck load of medical supplies for the 4077, thus rendering them in desperate need of Hydrocortisone. In retaliation, Hawkeye and Trapper meet with a notorious black marketer, hoping to get some replacements. When they realize they have nothing reasonable to trade with him, they go to drastic measures to get what they need.
Requiem for a Lightweight
Trapper and Hawkeye seek to keep a new nurse from being transferred by Hot Lips, and they vie for her affection. Henry Blake, challenged by another commander to a boxing tournament, makes Trapper fight a big, intimidating soldier in exchange for keeping the nurse at the 4077th. Hawkeye and Ugly John employ the use of a glove soaked with ether to insure Trapper's victory, which impresses the nurse. Margaret and Frank's attempts to unfix the match collapses, as they are flattened by the unconscious boxer!
Chief Surgeon Who?
Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce's disrespect...and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns's shock. The rest of the 4077th "coronates" Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General Barker. The General's visit provides him with a view of life at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit: camp hijinks, a poker game, and a surgery session. This shows him M*A*S*H has fun but gets the job done.
The Moose
Sergeant Baker arrives at the camp with his Moose. Hawkeye decides to find a way of getting her away from Baker. He tries ordering him to release her, tries buying her, and then resorts to cheating at cards. He releases her but she won't go, so he tries to teach her how to be independent.
Yankee Doodle Doctor
The 4077th is designated as the setting for the making of an army film on Mobile Army Surgical Hospital units. Hawkeye is chosen as the star while Margaret and Frank compose a screenplay. The Eye Of The Hawk objects to the piece of propaganda that filmmaker Lt. Bricker is producing and, having exposed the original film, reshoots a new one his way, starring himself as Groucho Marx-ish Yankee Doodle Doctor, and poking fun at glorifying doctors while concluding with a rather serious speech about the hell of war.
Bananas, Crackers and Nuts
When Henry goes for some R&R, Hawkeye pretends to crack up so that Frank will let him and Trapper go on some R&R.
Cowboy
John Hodges, a chopper pilot referred to as The Cowboy because of his gun holster belt and cowboy hat, has been hit in the shoulder, and arrives at the 4077th. He is expecting a letter--he's worried his wife Jean at home is leaving him for another man ("She's probably off with some rodeo rider; she's a sucker for a 10-gallon hat!"). He wants to go home, but Henry refuses, stating Cowboy's wound isn't serious enough to merit a stateside ticket. Bad luck then follows Henry Blake like the seat of his pants: he gets shot at while golfing, his tent gets flattened by a driverless jeep, and the latrine explodes while he's inside. The Cowboy offers to fly Henry to Seoul and then threatens to shove him out! The letter finally arives for Cowboy, assuring he is loved. Hawkeye and Trapper uses the radio to convince The Cowboy to spare Henry's life and come down, at which they succeed.
Henry Please Come Home
Henry receives a citation for the camp achieving the best efficiency rating, and then General Hammond reassigns him to Tokyo. Frank then changes the camp to be more military, and he confiscates Hawkeye's and Trapper's still. They use forged passes to go to Tokyo to convince Henry to come back and end up pretending Radar is sick.
I Hate a Mystery
A rash of thefts breaks out in the camp. Missing pieces include Frank's silver picture frame, Margaret's hair brush, and Trapper's watch. The camp is searched and everything is found in Hawkeye's locker. Everyone thinks he did it. Hawkeye manages to announce to the camp that the items will be dusted for prints to identify the real thief, and catches Ho-Jon. He needed money to bring his family from the North, and to bribe border guards.
Germ Warfare
Hawkeye moves a wounded North Korean soldier into The Swamp, rather than let him be shipped out before he's stable. During the night he and Trapper play Dracula, and siphon off a pint of Frank's blood. The soldier then contracts hepatitis, so they have to test Frank without him knowing, and have to keep him away from Margaret and the patients.
Dear Dad
Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.
Edwina
The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.
Love Story
Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.
Tuttle
Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...!
The Ringbanger
Hawkeye and Trapper operate on a famous Colonel - after discovering that he is particularly ruthless about sacrificing his men, they come up with a scheme to get him sent back to the states with a little unwitting help from Frank, Margaret, and a drunk Henry.
Sometimes You Hear the Bullet
Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.
Dear Dad...Again
Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night.
The Longjohn Flap
The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john's from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift, a gambling stake, a trade, a bribe, stolen, given up to Father Mulcahy, who gives them to Henry, who returns them to Hawkeye as thanks for taking out his appendix.
The Army-Navy Game
The camp tunes into the Army/Navy football game, only to be shelled and have an unexploded bomb land in the middle of the compound. They ring around trying to identify the bomb, and the camp prepares for the worst. Hawkeye and Trapper are left the task of following instructions to disarm the bomb, which turns out to be full of propaganda leaflets from the CIA.
Sticky Wicket
Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's surgical ability. Hawkeye performs a difficult operation and the patient does not recover, as he should. Hawkeye begins to doubt his ability and moves out of The Swamp. He decides to open up his patients again, and discovers a nick in the colon that even Frank admits anyone could have missed.
Major Fred C. Dobbs
As usual Frank's normal drone of verbal abuse upsets Ginger, so Hawkeye puts his arm in a cast while he is asleep. Frank puts in for a transfer, and after a broadcast goes out of Frank telling Margaret he's leaving, she decides to leave as well. As a result, Col. Blake puts both Hawk and Trap on double post-op duty until he finds replacements for Majs. Burns and Houlihan. Unwilling to lose their two favorite patsies, and to be worn to a frazzle from doing 2 shifts in O/R, Hawkeye and Trapper hatch a scheme to prevent Frank and Hot Lips from leaving. That night, Hawkeye and Trapper pretend they have found gold, letting Frank overhear them. Frank then withdraws his request when he thinks he's found gold himself, although the joke is on him when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep!
Ceasefire
General Clayton calls to say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But Trapper does not believe it. Hawkeye claims he is married to avoid promises he made to several nurses. The party to celebrate the cease-fire, which never really took place, is interrupted by incoming wounded.
Showtime
Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.
Divided We Stand
Gen. Clayton sends a psychiatrist to the 4077th to gauge the camp's cohesiveness and fitness as a unit.
5 O’Clock Charlie
An inept, if punctual, bomber pilot provides comic relief for Hawkeye and Trapper, but inspires Frank to call out the heavy artillery.
Radar’s Report
Radar chronicles the antics of a typical week at the 4077th, which includes Hawkeye falling for a new nurse, a POW going berserk in the OR and Klinger seeking a psychiatric discharge.
For the Good of the Outfit
Hawkeye and Trapper receive high-level flak when they buck the brass to report the "friendly fire" shelling of a South Korean village.
Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde
Hawkeye has been operating so long he just can't quit, and he decides to try to end the war while he's at it.
Kim
Everyone wants to mother a wounded and apparently orphaned boy.
L.I.P. (Local Indigenous Personnel)
Hawkeye cuts through red tape to help a GI marry his child's Korean mother, and cuts romantic ties with a bigoted nurse.
The Trial of Henry Blake
Henry's fitness for command is called into question when he's put on trial for charges stemming from the tomfoolery at the 4077th.
Dear Dad... Three
Another letter from Hawkeye to his father tells about a bigoted soldier who wants the "right color" blood, a live grenade in the OR and Henry's home movies.
The Sniper
A lone sniper turns the hospital compound into a combat zone, traps Henry and Radar in the showers and forces surgery by candlelight after he knocks out the generator.
Carry On, Hawkeye
A flu epidemic leaves yet-to-be infected Hawkeye and Margaret more overworked than ever.
The Incubator
Hawkeye and Trapper hassle the brass to obtain a vital piece of medical equipment.
Deal Me Out
The 4077th and friends convene for their weekly “Medical Conference,” A.K.A. Poker while Radar runs over a civilian and Frank is held hostage in the showers by an enlisted man.
Hot Lips and Empty Arms
Depressed by news from home, Margaret examines her life and decides to request a transfer.
Officers Only
Something smells rank at the 4077th, and it might be the new officers' club--from which enlisted types are barred.
Henry in Love
Henry returns from Tokyo in love with a woman half his age, but he seems to have forgotten one thing--he's married.
For Want of a Boot
Hawkeye's quest for new boots turns into a never-ending game of horse trading.
Operation Noselift
A private with a prominent proboscis pleads for prohibited plastic surgery--but Frank and Margaret smell a rat.
The Chosen People
A local farmer claims the 4077th is on his land, and a Korean woman claims Radar is the father of her child.
As You Were
Frank chooses a lull in the action to ask Hawkeye and Trapper to perform his hernia operation, and that's just when the war returns full tilt.
Crisis
A wave of conservation hits the 4077th after a vital supply line is cut, creating a variety of shortages.
George
Hawkeye learns a patient was beaten up in his unit because he's homosexual, and Frank wants the soldier drummed out of the Army.
Mail Call
Mail call inspires Hawkeye and Trapper to play on Frank's greed, and Klinger's letters from home cover everything from death to pregnancy.
A Smattering of Intelligence
Frank is investigated by two crazy intelligence men, one who's convinced he's a communist, the other's certain Frank's a fascist.
The General Flipped at Dawn
The MASH 4077 is visted by General Steele. He wishes to move the camp 5 miles down the road. Hawkeye and Henry are charged with mutiny. And Hawkeye is also charged with impersonating a reporter.
Rainbow Bridge
As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Frank almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor; he went to the University of Illinois, after all.
Officer of the Day
While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean soldier, wanted by US Intelligence, leads to a confrontation with Colonel Flagg.
Iron Guts Kelly
General 'Iron Guts' Kelly arrives for an inspection, and ends up dying in Margaret's tent. Hawkeye and Trapper help the General's aide smuggle him out of camp. The next day he is reported killed at the front, as that is where he would have wanted to die.
O.R.
The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Hawkeye does heart massage on a soldier, which saves his life, but he dies four hours later. Sidney Freedman drops in during the deluge, and is dragged into the fray by Hawkeye.
Springtime
When spring arrives, Klinger gets word from home that his sweetheart back in Toledo wants to marry him. Henry arranges for Father Mulcahy to do this over short wave radio. Radar falls in love with a nurse, while a grateful patient won't leave Hawkeye alone, and even threatens Major Burns.
Check-Up
Trapper gets an ulcer and a ticket home. Unfortunately, his going-away party is spoiled by a new Army regulation, which forces him to stay.
Life With Father
Mail from home worries Henry that Lorraine may be seeing other men. Father Mulcahy presides over a Jewish circumcision ceremony for the Korean-born son of a US GI.
Alcoholics Unanimous
Henry's departure to Tokyo leaves Major Burns in charge of the 4077th. He declares total prohibition of alcohol, which leads to a near riot amongst the camp, especially from Hawkeye and Trapper.
There is Nothing Like a Nurse
The nurses are evacuated when the threat of an enemy parachute drop arises. Hawkeye and Trapper try to enliven everyone's spirits whilst they are gone. Hawkeye: "The plot thins. Watch the cake sue for malpractice when Frank cuts into it."
Adam's Ribs
Sick and tired of having liver and fish for an 11-day stretch, Hawkeye, driven near to insanity, starts a riot in the mess tent. He and Trapper then orders spare ribs and sauce from the best place he ever had them, in Chicago. Trapper calls a woman he spent a weekend with to pick up the ribs, and then they get choppered in. Unfortunately, right as they're sitting down to eat, wounded arrive, and Hawkeye is forced to postpone sinking his teeth into his beloved ribs.
A Full Rich Day
Hawkeye records a letter to his dad, detailing the exploits of a mad Turkish soldier who calls Hawkeye a "damn good Joe," the unfortunate loss of the corpse of a Luxembourg soldier (who turns out not to be dead), Lt. Henri-Batiste LeClerc, and of a gun-happy officer.
Mad Dogs and Servicemen
A local dog bites Radar, and the camp conducts a search to find the pooch, so that Radar doesn't have to undergo a series of painful rabies vaccinations. Hawkeye defies Frank, to take care of a GI who's suffering from a case of hysterical paralysis.
Private Charles Lamb
A Greek Colonel thanks the 4077th by giving them food and drink for an Easter celebration. But the feast is foiled when softhearted Radar saves the main course from the spit - a lamb, which Radar tricks Henry into giving a medical discharge and sends home to Ottumwa, Iowa. Thus, Hawkeye and Trapper invent the famed Spam Lamb! Meanwhile, a soldier who had shot himself to get out of the army confesses to Frank, thinking he is Father Mulcahy.
Bombed
The camp is under fire and is swamped with wounded. They are being attacked by their own artillery in a frightening "friendly fire" incident. Trapper and Margaret get trapped in the Supply Tent together. Frank's jealousy of Trapper drives him to propose to Margaret.
Bulletin Board
Camp activities include Henry's nervous delivery of a sex lecture, with Hawkeye's and Trapper's heckling, a Shirley Temple movie, and a cookout.
The Consultant
Dr. Borelli visits the 4077th to demonstrate his artery transplant technique. Unfortunately, being so close to the front at the 4077th causes Borelli's drinking problem to interfere at the worst time - when a patient needs the transplant.
House Arrest
Hawkeye is accused of hitting Frank and is placed under house arrest pending a court-martial. Meanwhile. Margaret is nervous about a visit from a meticulous female colonel.
Aid Station
Hawkeye, Houlihan, and Klinger go to an aid station at the front. Working closely together under heavy fire and unsanitary medical conditions, the three return to camp with new found respect for one another.
Love and Marriage
Hawkeye and Trapper prevent a GI from marrying a call girl who has TB, whilst trying to help a Korean soldier join his pregnant wife. Radar, of course, provides his usual invaluable help.
Big Mac
The camp prepares for a visit from General MacArthur. Klinger dresses as the Statue of Liberty as the General's jeep drives through the camp. MacArthur is so impressed, he salutes!
Payday
Frank buys two sets of pearls, one for Margaret and one for his wife. After some talk, Radar gets Hawkeye $3,000 in lost earnings, Hawkeye gives it to Mulcahy for the orphans, but then the army wants the money back. Trapper wins big at poker after using Hawkeye's watch as a stake, so Hawkeye takes his winnings to avoid a stay in the honeymoon suite of The Stockade Hilton.
White Gold
Colonel Flagg blows into camp trying to obtain penicillin to barter for information. But Flagg comes down with appendicitis, and the only penicillin he gets is in the keister.
Abyssinia, Henry
Everyone is happy when Henry finds out that he is being discharged and sent home, and Hawkeye and Trapper decide to literally send him off in style...
Welcome to Korea
Trapper is shipped home while Hawkeye is on R&R. Hawkeye speeds to Kimpo with Radar to catch Trapper's plane, but they just miss him. While they are there, they pick up BJ Hunnicut and take him back to camp. On the way back, BJ is introduced to the Korean War.
Change of Command
Frank settles in as commanding officer, only to have a new one appointed over his head, one that, to his chagrin, fits in very well.
It Happened One Night
A freezing night, an artillery barrage that's coming too close, a patient going downhill, and Frank's searching Hot Lips' tent for his letters.
The Late Captain Pierce
When Hawkeye's father is notified that he's dead, he finds it's no easy matter either to get word to him or to establish otherwise.
Hey, Doc
Its quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, and a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin.
The Bus
Radar is driving Hawk, B.J., Sherman, and Frank in a bus back from a "medical conference" when they get lost. They stop to see if they can find anything they recognize. When they decide to turn around, they find that the bus does not want to start. Radar goes off in the middle of the night for the latrine, and does not immediately return. Stricken, Hawkeye wants to set out to find him, only to be stopped by Sherman. An injured Korean surrenders to get medical help from Hawk and B.J.. Upon Radar return, the Korean helps repair the bus and get them out of danger.
Dear Mildred
It's Potter's anniversary. While Potter writes home, Frank and Hot Lips have a wood carving made for him, and Radar rescues a horse and makes him a present of it.
The Kids
The 4077th plays host to kids bombed out of their orphanage, and at the same time has to deliver a baby and care for battle casualties.
Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler
Intelligence officer Colonel Flagg, and psychiatrist Sidney Freedman, grapples over the fate of a wounded officer, Captain Chandler, who claims to be Jesus Christ. Perhaps the most poignant scene is when Radar asks Chandler to bless his teddy bear.
Dear Peggy
B.J. writes home to his wife, Peg, reporting Klinger's escape attempts, the visit of a formidable chaplain, and one of Frank's goof-ups.
Of Moose and Men
Hawkeye tangles with a tough Army colonel, Colonel Spiker, B.J. helps Zale, who's received a "Dear John" letter, and Frank looks endlessly for Korean saboteurs.
Soldier of the Month
Frank has a fever and makes a will, leaving all his money to his wife and all his clothes to Hot Lips.
The Gun
A wounded colonel's gun, a showpiece, disappears, and Hawkeye and B.J. play a hunch and bluff Frank, who has it, into returning it.
Mail Call, Again
Mail brings a letter to Frank saying his wife is divorcing him, and one to Potter telling him he's going to be a grandfather.
The Price of Tomato Juice
Radar gets the help of Hawkeye and B.J. to procure something Colonel Potter says he's fond of, but that's hard to come by - tomato juice.
Dear Ma
Radar writes home to his mother, as Hawkeye conducts the camp foot inspection, and Colonel Potter gets some shrapnel in his backside.
Der Tag
Potter decides Frank would be less of a pain if the others were friendlier to him; they oblige, with some startling results.
Hawkeye
Hawkeye is injured in a jeep accident and, aware he has a concussion, babbles to a Korean family to keep himself awake.
Some 38th Parallels
Frank tries to distinguish himself by selling the camp garbage, but it's Hawkeye who finds a use for it: he dumps it on a troublesome Colonel Coner.
The Novocaine Mutiny
Frank has Hawkeye up on charges of mutiny, for usurping his authority when Potter was away on leave, and Frank was the C.O. The Judge Advocate, Colonel Carmichael, tries the case; BJ, Potter, and Radar are in attendance of the preliminary hearing to offer support for Hawkeye. There are several versions of what happened: according to Frank, he was trying to hold the 4077th together during heavy casualties when everyone else was falling apart; according to The Eye Of The Hawk, BJ and Radar, it was Frank who was out of control with his regimen. Finding no evidence of the alleged mutiny, the judge drops all charges against Hawkeye and puts Frank in his place (but will he stay there?!).
Smilin' Jack
The 4077th turns up a sick helicopter pilot, 'Smilin' Jack, who doesn't want to quit, and a twice-wounded GI who does.
The More I See You
Hawkeye is reunited with a woman he thought was out of his life forever, but who never altogether leaves.
Deluge
A sudden deluge of wounded at the 4077th is followed by a fire and a rainstorm which makes matters difficult for the staff.
The Interview
Clete Roberts introduces this segment as his show; he's arrived at Korea to interview the staff of the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital because of its high 97% efficiency rating. In Roberts' interviews with Hawkeye, BJ, Frank, Radar, Klinger, Mulcahy and Potter, they talk about how they cope with their situation, what they miss about home, how they feel about who they work with, and whether they see any good in coming from war.
Bug Out
When a rumor for a camp relocation turns out to be real, Hawkeye, Margaret and Radar volunteer to stay behind for a patient who cannot be moved.
Margaret's Engagement
Margaret, calling from Tokyo, holds the camp in suspense until she returns with the news of her engagement to Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott. Frank Burns takes the news hard and arrests a Korean family as spies.
Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Hawkeye is temporarily blinded while trying to fix the nurses' furnace, and Frank finds a sure-fire way to win bets on baseball games.
Lt. Radar O'Reilly
Following an offer of promotion made by Master Sergeant Woodruff at a poker game, Radar is promoted to the rank of lieutenant. Finding this position awkward, Radar opts to return to his position as an enlisted man.
The Nurses
The nurses go behind Margaret's back so that a fellow nurse confined to her tent can spend the night with her soldier husband who is paying her a surprise visit.
The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan
Margaret takes off in the middle of the night to help deliver a Korean baby. Nobody knows of her whereabouts, and Colonel Flagg is brought in to help investigate her disappearance.
Dear Sigmund
Psychiatrist Sidney Freedman composes a letter to Sigmund Freud during a visit to the 4077, while the rest of the camp endures the hijinks of a mystery prankster.
Mulcahy's War
Father Mulcahy, troubled by his lack of experience at the front, insists on accompanying Radar for an errand there.
The Korean Surgeon
Instead of turning him in as a prisoner of war, Hawkeye and B.J. pull some strings to get a wounded North Korean surgeon a spot on the staff.
Hawkeye Get Your Gun
Hawkeye and Potter provide assistance at a Korean clinic, and run into an enemy attack on the way home. Meanwhile, Klinger begins posing as a Gypsy to help get his discharge papers.
The Colonel's Horse
Everybody pitches in to save Colonel Potter's horse, who becomes sick while Potter is away in Tokyo. And Margaret asks Hawkeye, not Frank, to operate on her appendix.
Exorcism
To save the life of an elderly local who rejects an operation because he believes bad spirits surround the 4077th, Colonel Potter permits a Korean exorcism.
Hawk's Nightmare
Hawkeye starts sleepwalking and having horrific nightmares. He begins to think that he may be starting to lose his "war against the war."
The Most Unforgettable Characters
Radar becomes an aspiring writer after ordering a flier from a comic book, and Hawkeye and B.J. give Frank a surprise birthday present that only he will appreciate.
38 Across
A fouled radio call for help on a crossword puzzle leads to a senior officer coming to the 4077th to help with a supposed serious medical problem.
Ping Pong
The 4077th hosts a traditional Korean wedding, much to Frank's objections. And Colonel Potter runs into an old friend who has put his troops in jeopardy so that he could receive a promotion.
End Run
A former star college football player suffers a severe leg injury in combat and must deal with the consequences, and Major Burns goes behind Colonel Potter's back to set up a boxing match between Klinger and Zale.
Hanky Panky
B.J. falls off the fidelity wagon while trying to provide consolation to a nurse whose marriage has just ended. But will he confess his infidelity to his wife?
Hepatitis
The 4077th has an outbreak of hepatitis and Hawkeye needs to inoculate the reluctant staff while dealing with back pain.
The General's Practitioner
General Korshak wants Hawkeye to be his personal practitioner, despite his constant snottiness. And Radar helps take care of a soldier's half-Korean baby after he is shipped back home.
Movie Tonight
Colonel Potter hopes a Western will be the cure for the 4077th's morale problem. But during the show, the staff of the camp is forced to make its own entertainment during the frequent film breakages.
Souvenirs
Hawkeye and BJ try to stop a chopper pilot from selling souvenirs derived from war materials derived from locals facing danger getting them, and Klinger becomes a pole-sitter in his latest attempt to get a Section Eight.
Post Op
The 4077th is deluged with patients and their individual medical histories. Then they run out of blood and everyone is donating at 48-hour intervals.
Margaret's Marriage
Pressured by Frank, Margaret decides to marry Colonel Donald Penobscott at the 4077th. When Donald arrives in camp, he is treated to a bachelor party and a practical joke while the nurses give Margaret a bridal shower.
Fade Out, Fade In
Frank Burns cracks up over Margaret's marriage while on R&R in Tokyo, and Major Charles Emerson Winchester III is sent to the 4077th as a replacement by a vindictive superior officer.
Fallen Idol
Radar has always looked up to Hawkeye and admired him as his hero. But after suffering a Jeep accident en route to R&R at Hawkeye's behest. Radar questions his own hero worship. Particularly when he and his hero have a falling out.
Last Laugh
Madness strikes as B.J. and his old friend Bardonaro play a series of practical jokes on each other, just as Bardonaro is about to leave Korea. Hawkeye gets the last laugh. He sends Bardonaro off without his traveling papers, and in a jeep with too little gas.
War of Nerves
The 4077th, caught up in tension and nerves, creates a bonfire to release their pressure. Meanwhile, Sidney Freedman is depressed over a young soldier who blames him for his injuries, because Freedman had sent him back into combat.
The Winchester Tapes
Hawkeye tries unsuccessfully to get to Seoul, to see Nurse Gilmore for the weekend. Meanwhile, Winchester has taped a letter home, asking for his influential parents to help get him back to the States. To get even, Hawkeye and B.J. switch Winchester's clothes, causing Winchester to alter his eating patterns.
The Light That Failed
With supplies low, the 4077th gets a truckload of ice cream churns and salt tablets. But what it needs are light bulbs, and in the dimly lit post-op Charles makes an error for which he draws the ultimate wrath of his two surgeon bunkmates. Meanwhile, B.J. receives a mystery novel that everyone in camp reads in turn. The last page is missing and the solution to the mystery is undiscovered until B.J. calls the author by long distance.
In Love and War
Hawkeye falls in love with Kyong Soon, a Korean woman who is caring for her sick mother and orphaned children. But all hope is lost as Kyong takes her possessions and the children to the south after her mother has died.
Change Day
Charles plans a scheme to get rich when he discovers that blue scrip is going to be exchanged for red. Hawkeye and B.J. outsmart him, and he is left holding the worthless scrip. Klinger tries to get into West Point so that he can get out of Korea.
Images
Radar notices a number of tattoos on one of the wounded, and convinces himself that with a tattoo he will be irresistible to women. Everyone tries to discourage him, and he admits to having received a tattoo that will wash off. Meanwhile, Margaret is frustrated with a new nurse who keeps getting upset at the sight of combat injuries.
The M*A*S*H Olympics
Colonel Potter, deciding that the camp is out of shape, enforces a calisthenics course. When nobody is enjoying it, he makes it fun by splitting the camp into two teams. These teams compete for three day R&R passes. Klinger tries to get out of the army by getting fat.
The Grim Reaper
Colonel Bloodworth threatens to press court-martial charges against Hawkeye, who shoved him in the bar. But then he becomes a patient and witnesses Hawkeye's skills. Klinger bonds with a patient from his hometown.
Comrades in Arms: Part 1
Lost behind enemy lines, Hawkeye and Margaret form a personal truce and seek shelter in a roadside hut.
Comrades in Arms: Part 2
B.J. disobeys orders and goes out to find Hawkeye and Margret, who are still missing in action. Meanwhile, their romantic relationship quickly goes up in flames, and they become even more hostile toward each other.
The Merchant of Korea
After Charles hands B.J. two hundred dollars, he begins to take advantage. Everyone gets together and persuades Charles to play poker. He has incredible beginner's luck until Radar discovers that Charles whistles loudly when he bluffs. They all win back their money and then some.
The Smell of Music
Hawkeye and B.J. refuse to shower until Charles stops playing his French horn, and Colonel Potter deals with a patient who wants to kill himself because he is now disfigured.
Patent 4077
In need of a special surgical clamp, Hawkeye and B.J. hire Mr. Shin, a local jewelry dealer, to make it. Days later the clamp is used to save the leg of a wounded soldier. Mr. Shin goes into the surgical supply business.
Tea and Empathy
With British and American casualties heavy, the 4077th's supply of penicillin has been stolen. Father Mulcahy discovers, from Corporal Bryant, the location of some penicillin, and he and Klinger go out in search of it. They are shot at, but safely return with the drug and save the day.
Your Hit Parade
With the arrival of a shipment of records, Radar plays the part of a disc jockey and helps to get everyone through the incredibly long deluge of wounded.
What's Up, Doc?
Hot Lips, believing herself to be pregnant, asks Hawkeye to test her. The only rabbit available to use for the test is Radar's pet, Fluffy. Meanwhile, Martinson, a patient, holds Charles at gunpoint, demanding he be sent back to Ohio.
Mail Call Three
After a delay of three weeks, five sacks of mail arrive, and everyone in camp reacts to good and bad news from home. Hawkeye receives love letters addressed to another Benjamin Pierce, another man has approached B.J.'s wife, and Radar's mom has found a boyfriend. Klinger: "I may not have a family in Toledo, but I got one here."
Temporary Duty
With a temporary transfer of personnel between the 4077th and the 8063rd, Captain Roy Dupree replaces Hawkeye, whilst Lorraine Anderson makes eyes at Charles. Fearing this to be permanent, Charles and B.J. successfully conspire to have Dupree permanently removed from the 4077th. Charles (to Hawkeye): "God, I missed you!"
Potter's Retirement
When bad reports are filed at headquarters, Col. Potter contemplates retirement.
Dr. Winchester and Mr. Hyde
Charles takes amphetamines to keep up his energy level, and even drugs Radar's mouse, "Daisy", so that it will win a race against a Marine's mouse, "Sluggo".
Major Topper
The doctors have to deal with a short supply of morphine and too many patients, while Klinger has to deal with a corporal who may be crazier than he is.
Commander Pierce
Hawkeye undergoes a drastic change when he becomes temporary commander of the 4077th, and learns about the tedious bureaucracy and accompanying headaches that Colonel Potter deals with daily.
Peace On Us
Hawkeye becomes so disgusted with the stalled Panmunjon peace talks that he impulsively takes matters into his own hands, and goes to the meetings to lend a hand.
Lil
Colonel Potter meets a female soldier of the same age and interests as himself, named Lil. The others in the camp think that he might be cheating on Mildred, even though his friendship with Lil is completely platonic. Meanwhile Hawkeye tries to find out what B.J.'s initials stand for. As it turns out, he was named after his parents, Bea and Jay Hunnicutt.
Our Finest Hour
Newscaster Clete Roberts, reprising an earlier interview appearance, returns to update Korean War conditions, when he conducts a series of television talks with the leading characters of the 4077th.
The Billfold Syndrome
Charles becomes so irate, when he is turned down for a future medical position at home, that he refuses to talk to anyone in the unit, until Hawkeye and B.J. send him a false telegram from home. Meanwhile, a young soldier, Jerry Wilson, can't remember his own identity, so Sidney Freedman is called for help.
None Like It Hot
As the temperatures reach triple digits, Hawkeye and BJ recieve their new rubber bathtub from Abercrombie & Fitch. However, soon the whole camp is hot under the collar as word leaks out about the tub and everyone wants a dip, except for Klinger, who is trying to get his Section 8 by wearing a fur coat.
They Call the Wind Korea
A strong windstorm affects the M*A*S*H personnel in varying ways: Hawkeye and most of the unit busy themselves securing items that could blow away; Radar prepares his animal hutch for the worst; a disgusted Charles switches his Tokyo-leave transportation from air to ground, and runs into a difficult medical situation en route to Seoul.
Major Ego
Captain Tom Greenleigh of Stars and Stripes comes to the 4077th to write an article about Charles, which makes him act even more egotistical than usual. Meanwhile, Margeret finds out her estranged husband Donald has tied up their joint account, while fending off at first -- then accepting -- the advances of Greenleigh. Klinger dresses up as various movie characters with the hope that Stars and Stripes will write about how crazy he is.
Baby, It's Cold Outside
While everyone is complaining about the record cold snap, Charles becomes the most unpopular man in camp, when his parents send him a winter-ized polar suit that he insists on flaunting in front of everyone.
Point of View
In this unique episode, the camera becomes the eyes of a young wounded soldier. It records his sensory responses to being wounded, flown by helicopter to the 4077th, examined, operated on, and treated in post-operation.
Dear Comrade
Hawkeye and B.J. discover that Charles is living the life of Riley, thanks to the attentions of his menially paid Korean servant, Comrade Park, a man of unusual skills. He has an important contribution to make - a native remedy for a seemingly insoluble medical problem.
Out of Gas
Heavy casualties are arriving, creating severe problems for the M*A*S*H unit because they are nearly out of Pentothal. Mulcahy takes up a collection from everyone - including a case of wine from Charles' private supply - and he and Charles take the jeep to make a trade with the black marketers for Pentothal.
An Eye for a Tooth
Father Mulcahy takes being passed over for promotion philosophically until he hears of the rapid advancement made by a heroic helicopter pilot. Then his uncharacteristically bold actions stun Colonel Potter and the entire company.
Dear Sis
Father Mulcahy writes a pre-Christmas letter to his sister, who is a nun. He recounts his frustrations at not being more effective at the 4077th.
B.J. Papa San
B.J. almost becomes the surrogate father to a Korean family. Finding them a substitute for his own absent family, B.J. spends so much time with them that his medical efficiency begins to suffer, and Hawkeye worries about his health. B.J.: "First they take me from my wife and kid, and just when I find something to help fill the gap, they take that away, too."
Inga
It's instant attraction for Hawkeye when a beautiful Swedish doctor, called Inga, arrives to observe combat surgery. That is, until she upstages him in the operating room with a superior technique, and his ego is bruised.
The Price
The 4077th is confronted by two crises: Colonel Potter's mare, Sophie, mysteriously disappears from her corral, and Hawkeye and B.J. find themselves with a young Korean boy on their hands, who is trying to avoid conscription into the Army.
The Young and the Restless
A lecture on the latest techniques by a young surgeon from Tokyo, and a later demonstration of his surgical skill, turns Winchester into a drunk and Potter into an invalid, whilst bringing home to Hawkeye and B.J. that they are out of touch with new medical practices.
Hot Lips Is Back in Town
Radar, who is smitten with the cute new nurse, Linda Nugent, relies on Hawkeye's expertise on how to cope with the situation. Hot Lips, meanwhile, celebrates her just-granted divorce by taking a step that arouses Colonel Potter's ire.
C*A*V*E
The 4077th evacuation to a nearby cave to, avoid U.S. artillery fire on a Chinese target, poses problems for Hawkeye, who has a claustrophobia problem that Colonel Potter is unaware of. On the other hand, Margaret hates loud noises. And then there's the problem of a seriously wounded soldier...
Rally 'Round the Flagg, Boys
The sinister Colonel Flagg pops up at the 4077th again, playing his usual spy games, convinced that Hawkeye is a communist sympathizer, after he saves the life of a North Korean soldier. Also, an American soldier is less than impressed.
Preventative Medicine
Colonel Lacy, who continues to disobey orders and causes a high number of casualties, visits his men in MASH. Hawkeye plans to stop him. Klinger plays the part of a voodoo practitioner to try and get out of the army.
A Night at Rosie's
A typical day in the life of Rosie's bar, complete with AWOL problem drinkers, a bound and gagged Winchester, and a gambling scheme.
Ain't Love Grand
The impossible happens for the snobbish Charles when he shares an emotional experience with Klinger, who discovers a U.S. nurse, Debbie, finds him and his bizarre attire attractive, while Charles succumbs to the exotic charms of a Korean girl, called Sooni, who he meets at Rosie's Bar.
The Party
Talk of a post-war reunion gives BJ an idea- planning a present-day stateside gathering of 4077th families. He continues to obsess with the idea even under the duress of bug-out instigated by a Chinese breakthrough. Also, Klinger fears that the party will blow his cover, as his mother doesn't know he's stationed in Korea.
Too Many Cooks
A clumsy foot soldier, 'Look out below' Conway, finds the quickest way to the crew's heart, boosting morale at the 4077th by cooking gourmet delights. Only Colonel Potter, burdened with a personal crisis, is immune from the high spirits enveloping the hospital.
Are You Now, Margaret?
A Congressional aide, Williamson, visits the 4077th on a supposedly routine fact-finding tour, but it's discovered that his motives are far deeper - too uncover Margaret as a communist sympathizer. His case is full of innuendo, so the gang set out to help Margaret.
Guerilla My Dreams
The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer, Lt. Park, is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities.
Good-Bye Radar: Part 1
On leave in Tokyo, Radar is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, and the backup has been stolen, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine.
Good-Bye Radar: Part 2
As company clerk Radar O'Reilly reluctantly prepares to depart the 4077th, the unit is still without electricity due to a broken generator, and the operating room continues to fill up with war wounded as night falls. The responsibility for procuring a new generator falls on Klinger, who lacks Radar's masterful knack of cutting through red tape in search of much-needed supplies.
Period of Adjustment
Klinger and BJ both have Radar related woes, causing them to go on a drinking binge. A drunken BJ becomes violent with Hawkeye.
Nurse Doctor
A beautiful and ambitious young nurse, Harris, who plans to become a doctor when she leaves the Army, finds herself in a misunderstanding with Father Mulcahy. Meanwhile, the camp's water supply is depleted, and the rest of the 4077th is more concerned about where their next shower will come from.
Private Finance
A South Korean Woman misinterprets Klinger's motives when he tries to aid her daughter financially. Meanwhile, Hawkeye wrestles with his conscience over a promise made to a dying soldier, Eddie Hastings.
Mr. and Mrs. Who?
Charles returns to the 4077th after a trip to Tokyo with an uncharacteristic hangover and the uneasy feeling of a romantic entanglement. Meanwhile, the hospital struggles to find a cure for an outbreak of deadly hemorrhagic fever.
The Yalu Brick Road
Hawkeye and BJ lose their way while rushing urgently needed antibiotics to the 4077th, which is wracked with low-mileage Thanksgiving turkey-induced salmonella. Wandering back to M*A*S*H, the pair are found by a peculiar North Korean soldier.
Life Time
Hawkeye and BJ race against the clock to save a soldier from paralysis. BJ harvesting an aorta from a dead soldier doesn't sit well with the soldier's friend.
Dear Uncle Abdul
Klinger discovers that his duties as company clerk include catering to the eccentric whims of the 4077th officers. Consequently, the unusual demands by Klinger's superiors leave little time to write a letter home to Toledo. Meanwhile, the Doctors are concerned about a young soldier who appears to be mentally deficient.
Captains Outrageous
A brawl at Rosie's Bar puts Rosie in the hospital, and the 4077th doctors are pressed into service as temporary saloon-keepers. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is apprehensive that his long-pending promotion to captain will again be denied. Potter: "The Pentagon. Weird looking building. Four walls and a spare. Monument to Murphy's Law."
Stars and Stripes
Friction arises between B.J. and Winchester when they are asked to write an article for a prestigious medical journal, on how they saved a soldier's life with a daring operation. Meanwhile, Hot Lips receives an eventful visit from Scully, her combat soldier beau.
Yessir, That's Our Baby
A baby born to a Korean woman and an American GI is abandoned at the 4077th. Knowing that Amer-Asian children are often mistreated in Korean society, the troop sets about the frustrating task of finding a new home for the infant.
Bottle Fatigue
Horrified by the gigantic size of his monthly bar tab at the officer's club, Hawkeye vows to give up booze for a week. Meanwhile, Winchester desperately tries to halt his sister's impending marriage to a man he considers unworthy of the Winchester heritage.
Heal Thyself
Colonel Potter turns crotchety when he catches the mumps, and his condition is worsened when Winchester gets the same disease and has to be quarantined with him. A temporary replacement surgeon, Newsome, is quickly brought into the 4077th and seems to be a gem in terms of both personality and ability.
Old Soldiers
Hawkeye is appointed temporary commander of the 4077th when Colonel Potter rushes off to Tokyo on a mysterious mission. While in command, Hawkeye's main problem is housing a large group of Korean refugees comprised mainly of rambunctious children who need medical care.
Morale Victory
Tired of their constant complaints about the quality of recreational activities at the 4077th, Colonel Potter appoints Hawkeye and B.J. as the new morale officers. Winchester's morale has already reached a new peak: He's ecstatic about his operation on a wounded soldier, Sheridan, which saved the boy's leg, leaving only "negligible" side effects - less use of his right hand. However, the soldier was a concert pianist before the war, so Winchester obtains music written by Maurice Ravel for a pianist that had lost a hand in World War I.
Lend a Hand
Irritated that the 4077th is planning a "surprise" party for him, Hawkeye volunteers to go to the aid of a wounded surgeon at the front. An additional irritant to Hawkeye is the arrival of Dr. Borelli, a wisecracking medical advisor with whom he habitually disagrees.
Goodbye, Cruel World
Klinger redecorates his quarters, but the resultant ridicule he receives drives him to new heights in his efforts to get out of the Army. Meanwhile, the doctors are perplexed by the reaction of an Asian-American war hero who tries to kill himself when he's told that he will be going home. Sidney Freedman is called in to assist.
Dreams
The 4077th can't escape the Korean War, even in its dreams. Exhausted after two days without sleep, members of the 4077th steal away for catnaps and experience dreams that reveal their fears, yearnings and frustrations.
War Co-Respondent
B.J. finds himself attracted to a famous war correspondent, Aggie O'Shea, who has fallen in love with him.
Back Pay
Angered by the way civilian doctors in the States are profiting from the war, Hawkeye presents the Army with a bill for his medical services. Meanwhile, Charles reluctantly demonstrates American medical practices to three Korean medics, and is on the receiving end of their medical expertise.
April Fools
A no-nonsense Colonel, who is notorious as a hard-nosed disciplinarian, visits the 4077th during an outbreak of April Fools' Day pranksterism. Colonel Potter tries in vain to halt the mayhem before Colonel Tucker arrives in camp.
The Best of Enemies
On his way to some R&R in Tokyo, a North Korean soldier forces Hawkeye to perform an emergency roadside operation on his buddy.
Letters
Members of the 4077th share their impressions of war in response to letters from fourth graders in Hawkeye's hometown. Margaret writes about how there are some patients she will never forget, whilst the Colonel tells of his days as 'Hoops' Potter. Hawkeye: "Dear Ronnie, it's a shame to let the love you have for your brother turn to hate for others. Hate makes war, and war is what killed Keith. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I hate myself for being here. But sometimes in the midst of all this insanity, the smallest thing can make my being here seems worthwhile. Maybe the best answer I have for you is that you look for good wherever you can find it."
Cementing Relationships
A jilted Italian soldier, Corpsman Ignazio De Simone, is smitten by Margaret; Klinger pours a cement floor in the operating room to fight the spread of germs.
Father's Day
Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip off the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. Also, Hawkeye fixes up a soldier who repays them with a large side of steak, but the general who it belongs to is really steamed.
Death Takes a Holiday
Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret try to save the life of a critically injured solider so that his family won't think of Christmas as the day that their father died. Meanwhile, Winchester fulfills a family Christmas tradition but has trouble maintaining the anonymity required to keep it a truly charitable act. Even Klinger lends a hand.
A War for All Seasons
On New Year's Eve, the staff looks back on the highlights of 1951: The doctors invent an artificial kidney machine; Mulcahy plants a garden; Margaret takes up knitting; and Klinger and Winchester bet on which baseball team will win the pennant.
Your Retention Please
Klinger is so depressed by news that his ex-wife plans to remarry, he reenlists for an additional six-year hitch. Meanwhile, a male nurse has a gripe against the army.
Tell It to the Marines
Winchester takes command during Potter's absence; and B.J. and Hawkeye try to convince the Marines to grant a hardship discharge to an immigrant soldier, Private Jost Van Liter.
Taking the Fifth
Hawkeye uses a bottle of vintage wine to lure unsuspecting nurses into his den; and Potter tries to secure a different sort of anesthetic when the army threatens to ban a painkiller.
Operation Friendship
Klinger saves Winchester's life when an explosion rocks the operating room; and B.J. is reluctant to reveal the extent of his injuries after the blast.
No Sweat
Margaret develops a case of prickly heat, Charles does his tax returns, and Klinger takes the P.A. apart - just some of the events, which occur during another unendurably, hot night at the 4077th.
Depressing News
Klinger's army newspaper reports on Hawkeye's monument to military stupidity; a giant tower made from a half million erroneously shipped tongue depressors.
No Laughing Matter
Hawkeye wagers that he can go a full day without a wisecrack, and Winchester finally confronts the major who exiled him to the 4077th. Charles: "I will not, even for a return to that pearl of the Orient, Tokyo, lie to protect you while destroying a friend's career."
Oh, How We Danced
Winchester is sent to inspect sanitary conditions on the frontlines, while the rest of the camp plans a surprise anniversary party for B.J.
Bottoms Up
One of Margaret's nurses tries to hide her severe drinking problem, and Hawkeye is scorned after a practical joke he plays on Winchester backfires.
The Red/White Blues
Colonel Potter nearly blows his stack when his well-intentioned colleagues mollycoddle him in order to lower his blood pressure.
Bless You, Hawkeye
When Hawkeye can't stop a sneezing fit that has no apparent cause, psychiatrist Sidney Freedman digs into the surgeon's past for a clue to this unusual malady.
Blood Brothers
Hawkeye is overcome by the devotion of a terminally ill G.I., who has leukemia, for his critically wounded buddy, but he has trouble coming to terms with the fact that he can't cure the man. Meanwhile, Father Mulcahy is worried about the impending visit of a Cardinal.
The Foresight Saga
The 4077th is given a gift of fresh-grown vegetables by a grateful Korean; and Potter questions the veracity of an upbeat letter from Radar.
The Life You Save
After Charles is nearly felled by a sniper's bullet, he develops a philosophical obsession with death. Meanwhile, the officers have all been assigned new responsibilities.
That's Show Biz
A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. And wouldn't you know, the comedian is Klinger's hero!
Identity Crisis
Father Mulcahy counsels a GI who is plagued by guilt because he has swapped tags with a dead colleague. Meanwhile, B.J. and Charles consider ways of keeping a soldier-salesman quiet.
Rumor at the Top
The latest scuttlebutt affects everyone's behavior when a visitor is rumored to be recruiting for a new M*A*S*H unit. The gang fears that the 4077th will be split up.
Give 'em Hell, Hawkeye
Hawkeye writes a heartfelt letter to President Harry Truman to protest at the continued fighting in Korea. Meanwhile, Colonel Ditka has promised a much-needed water-heater if the 4077th beautifies the camp.
Wheelers and Dealers
On the eve of a big poker game, B.J.'s pride is bruised when he finds out his wife is working as a waitress. And Potter takes driving lessons from Klinger.
Communication Breakdown
Winchester infuriates the camp when he hoards his stateside newspapers, and Hawkeye reunites two Korean brothers who have been fighting on opposite sides of the war.
Snap Judgment (1)
The military police think they've solved a rash of thefts at the 4077th when they apprehend Klinger with Hawkeye's stolen camera.
Snappier Judgment (2)
B.J. and Hawkeye resolve to clear Klinger's name after he chooses Winchester to defend him at his military court-martial.
'Twas the Day after Christmas
To boost post-yuletide morale on Dec 26, Potter has the officers and enlisted men change places for the day.
Follies of the Living - Concerns of the Dead
Whilst suffering a fever, Klinger communicates with the spirit of a dead soldier, Private Weston, who stays on to witness his own last rites.
The Birthday Girls
Margaret's birthday plans are spoiled when she and Klinger get stranded on a desolate roadside. Meanwhile, Charles gives a lecture for Margaret, and the surgeons assist in the delivery of a calf.
Blood and Guts
Hawkeye is outraged when a sensationalistic war correspondent, Clayton Kibbee, reports irresponsible G.I. stunts as tales of military valor. Kibbee: "As for the last two pints of blood, there's no big finale, no heroes. They helped an old soldier, who'd had visions of glory but finally got it through his thick head how tragic and inhumane war can be. Maybe he'll know better next time."
A Holy Mess
An AWOL soldier, Nick Gillis, seeks sanctuary in the mess tent, after Father Mulcahy's service. At the same time, a special Sunday brunch is due to be served, following the donation of some eggs to the camp by a grateful farmer.
The Tooth Shall Set You Free
Charles has a serious toothache, but hates the thought of having anything done about it. The doctors suspect prejudice when an inordinate number of black casualties are brought in from a single unit, led by Major Weems.
Pressure Points
Potter sends for Sidney Freedman when he loses confidence in his surgical abilities, and Winchester loses patience with his bunkmates' sloppiness.
Where There's a Will, There's a War
Hawkeye goes to help at an aid station, and under heavy shelling he draws up a will, leaving various items to his friends at the 4077th.
Promotion Commotion
Winchester, Pierce, and Hunnicutt find themselves in the sticky position of having to decide which enlisted men to recommend for promotion. For Winchester it could be a matter of life and death.
Heroes
Hawkeye is the golden boy of the world press when he treats a celebrity prizefighter, 'Gentleman' Joe Cavanaugh, who has a stroke at the 4077th. Father Mulcahy finds the news hard to take, as Cavanaugh was a hero of his.
Sons and Bowlers
After losing to the Marines once again, Colonel Potter wishes there was one sport the 4077th were any good at. When Klinger mentions he can bowl, the Colonel decides to have a bowling competition. Meanwhile, Hawkeye finds out his father is in hospital and tries to speak to him over the phone, watched by Charles, who envies Hawkeye's close relationship with his father.
Picture This
Potter's attempts to assemble the crew for a family portrait are thwarted by a feud between bunkmates Pierce, Hunnicutt, and Winchester. Things are not helped by the efforts of Margaret, Klinger and Mulcahy to bring the Swampmen back together.
That Darn Kid
Klinger buys a goat, with the intention of getting rich by selling its milk. Then the goat eats the 4077th's $22,340 payroll, leaving paymaster Hawkeye holding the bag. Meanwhile, Charles thinks he can make a killing when he sees an ancient vase.
Hey, Look Me Over
Margaret and her nursing staff are about to be inspected by Col. Bucholz. Meanwhile, Kellye is offended that Hawkeye is attracted to any nurse except her.
Trick or Treatment
It's Halloween at the 4077th, and the staff dons costumes and trade ghost stories. Father Mulcahy discovers a soldier alive that had been pronounced dead.
Foreign Affairs
The Army tries to get a North Korean pilot to defect, and Charles gets a rude shock when he falls for a French nurse with a Bohemian past.
The Joker is Wild
Tired of reminders about Trapper John's skill as a practical joker, B.J. bets Hawkeye he can prank everyone present.
Who Knew?
Hawkeye volunteers to deliver the eulogy for a dead nurse that he briefly dated, and belatedly discovers her deep feelings for him.
Bombshells
Posing the theory that people will believe in anything, Charles and Hawkeye start a rumor that Marilyn Monroe plans to visit the 4077th, which gets everyone excited. Meanwhile, B.J. feels responsible when he's unable to rescue a wounded soldier, and is less than impressed when he is presented with a Bronze Star.
Settling Debts
Hawkeye and the crew surprise Colonel Potter with a party to commemorate Mildred's final payment on the couple's mortgage.
The Moon is Not Blue
With the camp facing prohibition, and a severe medical supply shortage, during another heat wave, Hawkeye resolves to lift morale by importing a racy new movie.
Run For the Money
When an Olympic runner assigned to the 4077th fails to materialize, Father Mulcahy must save the camp's honor in a high-stakes footrace against the 8063rd.
U.N., the Night and the Music
A United Nations delegation tours the 4077th - a Swede, a Hindu, and a British officer - and each leaves a lasting effect on the men and women of the camp.
Strange Bedfellows
The 4077th faces a sleepless night as Charles's snoring keeps B.J. and Hawkeye from counting sheep. Meanwhile, Colonel Potter discovers that his son-in-law, Bob Wilson, has had an affair.
Say No More
A military strategist refuses to accept responsibility for the war games that have mortally wounded his own son. And Margaret develops laryngitis, as she is about to meet her hero, Dr. Chesler.
Friends and Enemies
Potter must deal with an old Army friend who is getting his own soldiers killed through his incompetency.
Give and Take
A wounded GI learns a painful lesson when he forms a recovery room friendship with the enemy soldier he's critically wounded. Soldier: "My boots. All he wanted was my lousy boots. His feet were freezing. I'd have done the same thing. He was just a guy like me, and I shot him. I killed him, for a pair of boots. How can I ever look at a pair of shoes again without thinking of him?"
As Time Goes By
Margaret and Hawkeye work on a time capsule to commemorate their time in Korea; Rizzo and BJ goof around with a fake hand grenade; Klinger becomes smitten with a young, pretty Korean war criminal.
Goodbye, Farewell and Amen
Hawkeye is sent to a mental hospital; a freak accident causes Father Mulcahy to lose his hearing; Margaret worries about her post-war plans; Charles run across a band of Chinese musicians; BJ is sent home, much to Hawkeye's dismay; Klinger decides to stay in Korea to marry Soon-Lee; a ceasefire is declared, ending the war.
Cast
Alan Alda
Hawkeye Pierce
Mike Farrell
B. J. Hunnicutt
Harry Morgan
Sherman Potter
Loretta Swit
Margaret Houlihan
David Ogden Stiers
Charles Winchester
Jamie Farr
Maxwell Klinger
William Christopher
Father Mulcahy
Crew
Richard Hooker
Book
Burt Metcalfe
Executive Producer
Gene Reynolds
Executive Producer
Larry Gelbart
Producer
Thad Mumford
Producer
John Rappaport
Producer
Dan Wilcox
Producer
Allan Katz
Producer
Jim Mulligan
Producer
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