Backstage

The inaugural show introduces several major characters, including Johnny LaRue, Earl Camembert, Floyd Robertson and Moe Green. It features a somewhat tenuous wraparound concept involving LaRue - according to Dave Thomas' book, the running time for this episode ran well past 30 minutes, much of the linking material for the wraparound being cut to achieve the final running time. The show also introduces four programs that would feature frequently throughout the show's run: Sunrise Semester, a vehicle for an assortment of characters to educate viewers, would end up appearing in every series except the last; Words To Live By, the inspirational station signoff, would also appear frequently in the first three series; SCTV News; and Masterpiece Theatre, hosted by Alistair Cook.

Murder At SCTV

Perini Scleroso and Gus Gustofferson's first appearance. Gus is featured in a wraparound concept dealing with the murder of puppeteer Lampeer.

Ethnic Humour

Harold Ramis warns viewers that this show contains ethnic slurs, and all the jokes are about the gypsies. From ""Gypsy Mythology"" on Sunrise Semester to the Hints for Homemakers (a gypsy recommends holding up an Amish family and stealing their food), this show is indeed a gypsy rogue. Sunrise Semester, The Leutonian Hour, Out-Patient, Hints for Homemakers, Theatre North American, Words to Live By

Crosswords

Sammy Maudlin, Sunrise Semester, The $211,000 Triangle, Cooking with LaRue, Backstage, Masterpiece Theatre, Words to Live By

Match Unto My Feet

Sunrise Semester, Witness to Yesterday, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Match Unto My Feet, Words to Live By

Memoirs of Anton Chekhov

Star Trek comes to the steppes of Russia in a very funny parody of Chekhov. Heavenly Bodies, Mr Science, Masterpiece Theatre, The Memoirs of Anton Chekhov

Dialing For Dollars

BEAUTY AND THE BEETS Beauty learns to like beets... the hard way. Beauty and the Beets, Firing Squad, Alice, the Wonder Dog, Dialing for Dollars, Changing Partners

Shock Theatre

Dining with LaRue, The Wacky World of Poverty, Eye on Science, Shock Theatre:Early to Bed

Philosophy Street

Good-Bye America, Sunrise Semester, Philosophy Street, Total Women, A Fistful of Ugly, Feedback with Moe Green

Therese et Joe

On SCTV News, Floyd Robertson (Joe Flaherty) and Earl Camembert (Eugene Levy) report earthquakes, deli crises, the arms race, and Earl asks terrorists to surrender; Dr Hammond Greer (Dave Thomas) delivers a speech against scientists; Johnny LaRue (John Candy) cleans out the food at Lin Ye Tang's (Dave Thomas) garden restaurant; Lou Jaffe (Eugene Levy) witnesses Irish group techniques (and a bombing); On the SCTV Movie of the Week, a depressing French film about a live-in couple, Jerry Lewis-impersonating Joe (Joe Flaherty) and his fawning lover, Therese (Andrea Martin). Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Perspective '77, Therese et Joe

Broads Behind Bars

Broads Behind Bars is a classic, with Candy's over the top prison guard Shultzy ("Lock 'em up, keep 'em down, and work 'em over") and Martin's lifer Kitty ("No Dice!"). Trivia: the crew put real liquor in Ramis' bottle for the Mort Finkel sketch. (ref: sctvguide.com) Sunrise Semester, Dining With LaRue, Broads Behind Bars

The Taxidermist

Farm Report, Welcome Back President Kotter, Alistair Cook's Armenia, The Taxidermist

Ben Hur

A landmark show, featuring a show-length parody of the film, introduced by Moe Green on Dialing For Dollars. Additional Viewing: William Wyler's 1959 epic Ben-Hur.

The Hefty Neil Story

SCTV Sports Central: The Hefty Neil Story, PSA: Shoplifting

Leave It to Beaver

Exorcising, Leave it to Beaver 25th Anniversary Party, PSA:Rip Masters for Children on Booze, Dr Tongue and his Animal Friends

Goodbye America

Winning Chess with Borris Morris, PSA:So You're Dead...Now What?, Good-Bye America, Johnny LaRue

Galaxy 66

Diving for Dollars, Sunrise Semester, Sci-Fi Theatre: Galaxy 66, Beside the Point, Words to Live By

Madame Blitzman

PSA: Re-criminalize Marijuana, Dante's Inferno, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Madame Blitzman

$129 000 Question

Wake Up With Alki Stereopolis, PSA: Do Not Remove Tags, The $129,000 Question, Elvira Mad Again Part II, Words to Live By

Dr Tongue's House of Wax

Sunrise Semester, It Was That Way With Keith Hampshire, I Cry Each Day I Die, SCTV Boogie

Sammy Maudlin Show

Paul's Workshop With Paul Fistinyourface, The Sammy Maudlin Show, PSA: Shoplifting, Dialing For Dollars: Sandy Moss

World at War

Passport to Adventure:Africa, The World of Mystery: Sandwich on the Orient Express, World at War:Baseball, Lowell Thompson Remembers

The Grapes of Mud

Muley's Roundhouse, Promo: Library Police, The Three Dummies: Of Mice and Dummies, SCTV AM News Today: Terrorist Picnic, Commercial: Spray-On Socks, SCTV Movie of the Week: The Grapes of Mud Part, Commercial: Mrs Prickley's Jams Jellies and Preserves, Disco Farming

Officer Friendly

Message from Moe: License Suspended, A.M. Little America with Tom Brokraw, Promo: Dan Money, SCTV AM News Today: Mafia Interview, Commercial: Civil Engineering, Officer Friendly, Promo: The Undersea World of Marcel Cousteau, Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: All the Long-Leggedy Beasties, Dream Interpretation with Dr. Raoul Wilson

The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes

Commercial: Tiny Tops, Morning Facial with Princess Carlotta, Promo: Check Please, Promo: The Man Who Would Be King of the Popes, Commercial: Mr. Coffee-Table Book from Venerable Electric, The Uncle Earl Show, Promo: Harry Filth, Insights with Hugh Betcha: Socrates, Commercial: Get Tough self-help book, Commercial: Grumbles Restaurant on Route 41, Enough About Me: Antonio Luciani

Lust for Paint

Dialing for Dollars: Lust For Paint features a show-length parody of Moulin Rouge, with promos for celebrity tattletales and the Babe Ruth story

Best Of (US)

Premiere

As the show starts, the scripts are not finished. The first on-screen appearance of Guy Caballero, in a wheelchair (which he uses for respect) with a phone. And, seemingly out of nowhere, Lola Heatherton appears, fully formed, in her first special. Additional Viewing: 70s TV series The Love Boat and The Incredible Hulk.

Bob Hope Desert Classic

Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The House of Cats; SCTV Sports Central: Desert Classic; Commercial: Delay; Betty Bain: Professional Juror; Promo: Masterpiece Theatre: Naughty Chambermaids; Bob Hope Desert Classic

Kidnapping of Moe Green

The Leutonian Liberation Front has threatened Moe Green with his life and his career. Once the dirty deed is done, SCTV's on-air personalities cannot hide their relief.

SCTV Solid Gold Telethon

Sammy Maudlin, Bobby Bittman and Johnny LaRue anchor the show-length star-studded charity telethon. A great celebrity schmooze fest. The Solid Gold Telethon marks the first of three telethons SCTV would air in an attempt to get cash from viewers; it was followed by Pledge Week in Series 4, and the very final SCTV episode, Pledge Week in Series 6. The Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme duet is an almost note-for-note parody of Jackie and Roy's rendition of the tune "You Smell So Good", a jazz classic. (Thanks Charlie R)

Writer's Strike

Something of a sequel to the first episode as Ernest Kirsch, SCTV writer, goes on strike, disrupting regular programming. At SCTV News, Floyd and Earl are forced to write their own copy. Caballero (still in a wheelchair with a phone) starts a tradition of giving speeches to the camera - as the show progressed, he would become more and more verbose, but here he's brief and to the point.

Municipal Election

Earl Camembert faces a conflict of interest as Johnny LaRue's campaign manager as SCTV News covers the municipal elections and Johnny's run for council. Additional Viewing: The 1978 TV miniseries The Bastard, starring Tom Bosley; 70s sitcom Three's Company.

Farm Film Report/Arabs

Guy Caballero gives his statement to the Arabs emerging on the world scene: ""Invest heavily in the SCTV Network."" Then programming begins with the first-ever Farm Film Report, with Big Jim McBob and Billy Saul Hurok discussing movies in which people get ""blowed up good."" Lou Jaffe does a Speaking of Talk interview with Harvey K-Tel in the recording studio shouting voice-overs. The Millionaire has given away just about all his money (his last check bounced). He is desperate to pay back Michael Anthony, until The Millionaire of Mecca appears. Peter O'Tool, Richard Berton, Richard Hariss, Shawn Connery, and Candice Burgen tease the audience with highlights of the new theatrical release How the Middle East Was Won. Farm Film Report, Speaking of Talk, Millionaire, How the Middle East Was Won

The Mirthmakers/Happy Endings

It appears there isn't any happiness on television, except on SCTV. Earl Camembert gives a bright side to tragic news stories. Lin Ye Tang must answer to viewers who have complained about the contents of Chinese Fairy Tales. And a Triple Feature Movie has three different settings with identical plots. The Mirthmakers, Chinese Fairy Tale, Happy Endings

Undersea World

The first appearance of gameshow host Alex Trebel, hosting the high school quiz show High Q. Additional Viewing: The Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau, the long-running nature show from the 60s and 70s. Second City notes: Marriage Counsellor originated in the 1976 revue For a Good Time Call 363-1674, Thomas and O'Hara reprising their respective roles here.

Edith Prickley Station Manager

Edith Prickley has succeeded Moe Green as SCTV Station Manager. (Naturally, she rubs Guy Caballero the wrong way.) Her first day on the job sees the world television premiere of Jaws 23, where Amity residents want to lure a mackerel into town for the Fourth of July. Edith Prickley: Station Manager, Shoot at the Stars, Jaws 23' Sore Loser

SCTV 30th Anniversary Show

Features the show-length, star-studded salute to SCTV's 30th anniversary, with some great parodies of 50's television. Additional Viewing: Branded, the 1965 TV show starring Chuck Connors; and What's My Line?, the long-running 50s panel show. While Kirk Douglas made two appearances as a mystery guest on What's My Line? (in 1953 and 1960), he was never a guest panelist (his second wife, Anne Buydens, did appear as a guest panelist on a 1966 show, however). Coincidentally, Andrea Martin, like Arlene Francis, is of partial Armenian descent, while Catherine O'Hara, like Dorothy Kilgallen, is from an Irish-Catholic family. The opening sequence of What's My Shoesize? has more in common with the 1968-75 syndicated version of What's My Line? (Thanks William Brown

Whispers of the Wolf/The Occult

Mr. Science: Acid and Electricity, SCTV News: SCTV is Haunted, Fireside Chat: Firewood, 4th Degree, Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: Whispers of the Wolf, Words to Live By with Mulciber Arimaspians

Bad Acting In Hollywood

Features Sid Dithers Private Eye and the superb Bad Acting In Hollywood. Additional Viewing: Bad Acting In Hollywood is a parody of That's Hollywood, a late 70s TV show hosted by Tom Bosley that looked at historic Hollywood films (mostly from 20th Century-Fox) (Thanks Jim Donato). Johnny Dark Always Rings Twice parodies 30's and 40' gangster films; start with Little Caesar from 1931. The Phil Donahue Show, which ran through the 70s and 80s, was the precursor of all modern daytime talk shows. C.P.O. Sharkey was a mid-seventies sitcom starring Don Rickles.

Alfred Hitchcock Presents

Additional Viewing: Alfred Hitchcock Presents, the 50s anthology series hosted by the man himself. Murder Is Bad For Your Health is (possibly) a parody of the 1948 film An Act Of Murder, starring Florence Eldridge and Fredric March (thanks Dusty Towne); Cecil and Cynthia appear again in Series 3's Gaslight.

Fighting Air Dogs

Promo: Undercover Policewoman, SCTV News: Marijuana, Commercial: Daylea Yogurt, Masterpiece Theatre: The Lincoln-Douglas Debates, Mohicans Galore, Cretin's Island, Commercial: Mike's Mercenaries from Amco the Toy People, SCTV Movie of the Week: Fighting Air Dogs over the Pacific

Death Takes No Holiday

Phil from Phil's Nails (later the Garment King) is a send-up of Phil Givner, who did similar commercials for his carpet outlet back in the 70's in Toronto. Additional Viewing: William Castle was a director of B-movie thrillers that usually featured a gimmick of some sort. His 1961 film Mr Sardonicus featured The Punishment Poll, a gimmick whereby the movie audience could vote to determine how the movie would end. The Amazing World of Kreskin, the early 70s mentalist show hosted by the Amazing Kreskin.

Rock Concert

Features the first Tex and Edna Boil Organ Emporium commercial, while Bob Clark in the Mailbag segment is a very similar character to Bill Needle, who would take over the Mailbag in series 3. Additional Viewing: Mind Games includes a neat little parody of the 1966 film Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, starring Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. They parodied the film again (in a radically different way) in Fast Talking Playhouse.

Fantasy Island

Features the show-length parody of Fantasy Island, which itself incorporates a bevy of parodies of classic 40s pictures. Additional viewing: the 70s hit TV show Fantasy Island; Hope and Crosby road pictures; Casablanca; and The Wizard of Oz.

On the Waterfront Again

The second episode in a row to feature a show-length sketch, an episode of The Sammy Maudlin Show with Bobby Bittman promoting his remake of On the Waterfront. Maudlin music is "Soulful Strut" by Young-Holt Unlimited. Additional Viewing: On The Waterfront, the 1954 classic

SCTV Disco

SCTV Boogie, from episode 20 of the first series, has been rechristened SCTV Disco. Additional Vieweing: Lou Grant, the Mary Tyler Moore Show spinoff series starring Ed Asner; Art Linkletter's House Party, a long-running TV series during the 50s and 60s, included a segment Kids Say the Darndest Things.

Pipeline

Notable for the unusual Pipeline documentary and the Dr Braino Hour (featuring "Casey Jones" by Grateful Dead and "Fresh Air" by Quicksilver Messenger Service).

Consumer Action Line

Features the mysteriously cut from syndication Family Crisis Game Show. Syndication Note: Family Crisis was dropped; replaced by Wara Wara Wara from 1-2 (2)

Relaxing With Raoul / Dining With LaRue

Promo: Take the Money and Run, Natalie Wingneck, Commercial: Big Giant Restaurant, Relaxing with Raoul, Commercial: National Council of Antique and Restricted Automatic Weapons, Dining With LaRue: French Restaurant

The Flaming Turkey

Hugh Betcha's Insights and Firing Squad, both first seen in Series 1, return; Socrates is now played by Thomas (replacing Ramis) - the numbskulls are stilled played by Levy and Candy. Second City notes: A Flaming Turkey-style ballet parody was featured in the 1975 revue Alterations While You Wait; the stage version was also introduced by Candy.

Best Of 1

Promo: Lola Heatherton In Concert, Donna: Barbara Streisberg, Promo: U.F.O. Sharkey, What's My Shoesize?, Commercial: Phil's Nails, Bob Hope Desert Classic

Best Of 2

Rerun package: all sketch material was seen earlier in the season. Speaking of Talk with Lou Jaffe, Commercial: Long Distance, Family Crisis Game Show, Commercial: Tex and Edna Boil's Organ Emporium: Rhythm Ace, The $Millionaire, SCTV Rock Concert with Big Jim and Billy Sol,

Lee Iacocca's Rock Concert

After Edith Prickley introduces the season, SCTV kicks off its third year with Pirini Scleroso in My Fair Lady (promo only). Then comes the debut of Great White North (aka Kanadian Korner). Earl Camembert gets his tongue twisted during SCTV News. Then it's Lee A. Iacocca Rock Concert, where the host asks the U.S. government to save the show from financial peril.

Thursday Night Live

In an attempt to capture the hip comedy audience, SCTV goes "live". Also features the "K-Tel Fast Talking Playhouse" version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

Death of a Salesman

Molly Earle revives her Crazy Crafts series after a 15-year hiatus. Guy Caballero introduces a live production of Death of a Salesman with George Carlin, Deforest Kelly, Ricardo Montalban, and Margaret Hamilton. Playing the ghost of Ben is John Belushi.

My Factory, My Self

Dolly (Andrea Martin) goes from victim to victor in this spoof of the overly earnest women’s lib films of the 70s.

Death Motel

Count Floyd offers up this so-called scare classic, with a rare in-studio interview with star Woody Tobias, Jr.

The Lone Ranger Show

Sunrise Semester delivers a lesson in Conversational New Yorkese, with the words ""shower,"" ""super,"" and ""lawyer"" as examples. On 60/20, Earl Camembert tries to analyze TV's impact on society and gets impacted himself. Guy Caballero addresses the need to sustain a good orbit for SCTV's satellite.

Play It Again, Bob

Woody Allen tries to jumpstart Bob Hope's flagging film career with this strange cinematic love letter. Also features "The Trial of Oscar Wilde".

Gaslight

The classic thriller is given the satiric SCTV approach. Also features Dick Cavett talking to his most appropriate guest – himself.

Man's Ability To Imitate

Sunrise Semester: Man's Ability to Imitate with Mr Wilcox, PSA: Concerned Children for Truth In Advertising, Rebuttal: National Organization to Reinstate Cigarette Advertising, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 17: Snowshoes for Spatulas, Promo: Monster Chiller Horror Theatre: The Odd Couple, Promo: Sea Talk, SCTV News: Earl Plugs Products, omment with David Brinkley: Viletones, Promo: The Invisible Man, Cooking With Marcello: Lobster Cacciatore

Mel's Rock Pile

Promo: Shakespeare in the Park, Cheryl Kinsey, Traveling Sexologist, Kanadian Korner 19: Boom Shadows, Stuff that Bug Us, Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno, Message from Guy: Viewer Mail, PSA: Participaction, Promo: Flashing Eyes, Mel's Rock Pile: Speed of Light

The Sammy Maudlin Show

Bob Hope crashes Bobby Bittman's appearance to discuss his new multi-night special. Also features a clip of Taxi Driver starring Gregory Peck.

Night Gallery

Crazy Crafts: Bingo Drop Cans, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 13: Name that Smoke, Promo: Tom Snyder MD, SCTV News: Earl on roller skates, Grizzly Abrams, Hugh Betcha's Night Gallery, Signoff: The National Anthem

Star Wars

Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil, Promo: Chick Monk Roadie for the Defence, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars, SCTV News: 4th Anniversary, Commercial: Mr Earl Doll, Commercial: Joni Mitchell's For Dogs Only, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Message from Guy: SCTV Premiere of Star Wars, Commercial: Videotech Complete Home Entertainment System, Dialing for Dollars: The Fly Returns to Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Hollywood Salutes Its Extras

This SCTV special acknowledges the tireless efforts of Tinsel Town's talented background artists. Also features a clip of Taxi Driver starring Dick Cavett and a promo for the new "Hawaii Five-Ho".

The Irwin Allen Show

The famous disaster film producer hosts his own catastrophe-plagued talk show. Also features "Cooking with Marcello".

Big Brother

At the stroke of midnight, New Year's Eve 1983, TV is overtaken by Big Brother.

Two Way TV / Pit Bulls

As the latest in television technology is explained, journalist Earl Camembert infiltrates an illegal dogfight. Also features Molly Earle and her Crazy Crafts.

Alpha Channel

Commercial: Gordon Lightfoot Sings Every Song Ever Written, Cooking with Marcello: Vatican, Kanadian Korner 18: Sports, Crazy Crafts: Bob, Message from Guy: Alpha Channel, Promo: Alpha Channel, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Dialing for Dollars: Partridge Family Goes to Mars

Midnight Express Special

Live from a Turkish prison, it's Abbott and Costello hosting the premiere rock and roll showcase. Also features "Sunrise Semester: Basic Photography with Edith Prickley".

Cookery Crock / Cartoon Coroner

Sunrise Semester: Disasters in the Home with Edith Prickley, Commercial: Nasex Nasal Deodorant, Bill Needle's Mailbag, Kanadian Korner 20: Stuff that Bugs Us, Promo: Freddie De Cordova Show, Cookery Crock, Quincy: Cartoon Coroner

The Mating Game

Promo: Starting Out with Bill Needle, Commercial: Eskimo Arts, Message from Prickley: The Mating Game, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 22: Parking at Donut Places, Promo: Taxi Driver with Sid Dithers, SCTV News: Walter Cronkite, The Mating Game

Gene Shalit's America

Sunrise Semester: Societal Behavior with Norman Gorman, Commercial: Henry Moore for American Express, SCTV Special News Report: Chez Mona, Teaser: SCTV News, Kanadian Korner 29: Kicked out of studio, SCTV News: W.A.S.A.S.L., Comment with David Brinkley: Quality Smoke, Gene Shalit's America, Dialing for Dollars: Space Week

Mel's Rock Pile: MacArthur Park

Sunrise Semester: Greek Travel with Alki Stereopolis, Message from Prickley: Mel's Rock Pile, Promo: Jackie Stewart's Wide World of High Voices, Exercise Is Easy with Lucky Ibsen, Kanadian Korner 30: Stolen Car, Mel's Rock Pile: Richard Harris

Dick Cavett

Bobby Bittman makes an appearance on the PBS staple's talk show to promote his new film, Funny Stuff. Also features another lesson in Italian cuisine from Chef Marcello.

The Cisco Kid

Message from Prickley: The Cisco Kid, Commercial: Marlon Perkins' Wildlife Dinner Restaurant, Promo: Neil Jung, Psychiatrist, Promo: The Love Boat, Kanadian Korner 33: Doug Builds a Studio, The Cisco Kid Part

The Best Of Season 3

Rerun package: all sketch material was seen earlier in the season. Message from Guy: Satellite Model, Sunrise Semester: Do It Yourself Advertising with Phil, Promo: The Merv Griffin Show: Arafat, Liberace, Ferigno, Kanadian Korner 24: Star Wars, Promo: Taxi Driver with Bob Hope, Dick Cavett: Dick Cavett, Promo: Elvis 'n Costello, K-Tel's Fast-Talking Playhouse: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Tri-Promo: Black Man, White Boy, Promo: My Fair Lady, Promo: My Life One More Time, Commercial: Ella Fitzgerald for Mamorex Video Tape, Signoff: The National Anthem

One On the Town

Guy Caballero welcomes you to SCTV's new programming season on NBC.

Polynesiantown

Johnny LaRue plays a restaurant owner in his latest movie.

Southside Fracas

Guy Caballero hires illegal immigrant Pirini Scleroso; the Fracases argue about their daughter's wedding.

Repeats

A selection of sketches from the previous seasons.

Lunchtime Street Beef

Johnny LaRue is desperate for work after the failure of "Polynesiantown."

Moral Majority

Guy tries to appease a major advertiser.

Pledge Week

SCTV holds a pledge drive.

Bouncin' Back To You with The Tubes

Lola Heatherton is despondent after her live special is canceled.

The Great White North

Bob and Doug McKenzie invite fellow hoser Ian Thomas onto their show.

CCCP 1

SCTV's regular programming is interrupted by a Soviet satellite.

I'm Taking My Own Head, Screwing It On Right, and No Guy's Gonna Tell Me It Ain't

Libby Wolfson prepares for her new play.

Zontar

The SCTV cast and crew falls victim to alien mind control.

Walter Cronkite's Brain

David Brinkley's look at the human brain includes Walter Cronkite's childhood on Krypton.

Doorway To Hell

Guy runs out of ideas and takes suggestions from the crew.

The Godfather

A war erupts between the Five Networks when "Don Caballero" refuses to back a pay TV channel.

SCTV Staff Christmas Party

Johnny is forced to tape "Street Beef" outside on Christmas Eve.

Teacher's Pet

Ricardo Montalban is featured in a "To Sir, With Love" parody.

Midnight Video Special

Gerry Todd hosts a concert special consisting entirely of videos.

The Great White North Palace

Everyone is jealous of the attention Guy is paying to Bob and Doug--including giving them their own special.

Pre-Teen World Telethon

The kids of Pre-Teen World hold a telethon after their funding is cut.

The People's Global Golden Choice Awards

When SCTV wins a suspicious number of awards, Bob Hope notifies the FBI.

3D Stake From The Heart

Count Floyd takes us behind the scenes of the latest Coppola and Dr. Tongue production.

Pet Peeves / The Happy Wanderers

Hollywood stars reveal what bugs them; Stan and Yosh Schmenge welcome back a former Happy Wanderer.

Chariots Of Eggs

Hall and Oates star in Bobby Bittman's latest film.

Battle Of The PBS Stars

Carl Sagan's team takes on William F. Buckley's.

Rome, Italian Style

On the SCTV Foreign Film Festival, Angelo loses control of his fantasies.

The Days Of The Week / Street Beef

Everything comes to a head at Clay and Sue Ellen's wedding; Johnny meets a valuable ally at the bar.

Sammy Maudlin 23rd Anniversary / CBC

Sammy celebrates a milestone anniversary, sidekick William B walks off the show, and the janitors of SCTV go on strike.

Indecent Exposure

Guy Caballero is busted for writing a bad check to Fred Willard, forcing the arrival of SCTV Chairman Allan "Crazy Legs" Herschman. In 'The Nutty Lab Assistant', Ed Grimley makes his debut in this spoof of 'The Nutty Professor' in which Grimley decides to concoct a potion to make himself more attractive to his girl crush, and he ends up transforming into pop singer John Cougar. Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town looks at atoms and rainy day activities. Also, Jackie Rogers Jr. promotes his late father's last TV special, "Swingin' With Mother Nature."

Melonvote

The elections in Melonville for various public offices are under way. Mentally unstable Mayor Tommy Shanks is up for re-election against the seedy Vic Hedges. Meanwhile, Libby Wolfson runs for City Council, than becomes infatuated with her opponent.

Jane Eyrehead

Features the segment "Angel Cortez: FBI Jockey." Bobby Bittman PSA for the Public Library. Gus the Security Guard makes everyone sign in while, John Houseman reads the phone book, "Farm Film Report" with Deney Terrio. The band America performs "Right Before Your Eyes."

Towering Inferno

The SCTV office moves into the tallest, thinnest building in Melonville, which turns into a spoof of 'The Towering Inferno' as Guy, Edith, and others are trapped in the 200-story tall building just as a fire breaks out and strands them on the uppers floors.

Christmas

Guy Caballero and Johnny LaRue come to blows over a meager Christmas bonus, resulting in a busted, drunken Johnny desperately tracking down Santa. Segments include Lola Heatherton's "Love Spirit" Christmas Special. Ed Grimley stars in "The Fella Who Couldn't Wait For Christmas."

A Star Is Born

"The Days of the Week" returns for another six-episode run with a few new characters. The debut of "Half Wits" and "Artisans and Their Art with Bradley P. Allen". A spoof of the 1976 film 'A Star is Born' starring Crystal Gayle as an up-and-coming singer named Esther Blodgett

SCTV Classifieds / Vic Arpeggio

To encourage small business advertising, SCTV cuts its ad rates, resulting in a series of on-the-cheap ads for several micro-entrepreneurs. In the segment "Stars In One" profiles aging child star Rusty Van Reddick. Vic Hedges stars in "Vic Arpeggio, Private Investigator".

Bobby Bittman's Retirement

After discovering that he's opening for Ben Vereen and not the other way around, Bobby Bittman retires from show business. Sammy Maudlin's ex-sidekick, William B. Williams, hosts his own talk show with Irving Cohen.

Sweeps Week

It's Sweeps Week and SCTV is promoting specials like "Jumping for Dollars", where large busted women jump up and down while Johnny LaRue watches, and "The Dallas Cowgirls Salute Aaron Copland," which is bit more self-explanatory.

South Sea Sinner

William B Williams returns to the Sammy Maudlin Show. The Shmenges host a beauty pageant. Jackie Rogers Jr. plugs his biographical special, "Jackie, We Hardly Knew Ye".

Midnight Cowboy II

"Midnight Cowboy II", a takeoff of the original Midnight Cowboy movie. Also, "Whatever Happened to Baby Ed" as a spoof of "Whatever Happed to Baby Jane". The final episode of "The Days of the Week" (with cameos by Catherine O'Hara and Carol Burnett). Finally, "Mel's Rock Pile" hosts the British punk rock band, The Queen Haters, and they trash the place.

Maudlin O' the Night

(This is the start of the SCTV Channel, when SCTV moved to Cinemax. Shows are 45 minutes long). Guy Caballero launches the new SCTV cable channel. The Schmenge Brothers try new wave music. Edith Prickly and Edna Boil go double-dating in the film spoof "Prickly Business". Steve Roman makes his own made-for-TV movie about JFK.

Gimme Jackie / Australia

Sid Dithers finds love in "An Officer and a Gentile". Perini Scleroso gets her own sitcom. "The National Midnight Star" is rechristened "Hollywood Dirt Tonight". Australian actor Mel McElroy hosts his own film festival.

It's a Wonderful Film

Producer, Martin Simmons is making a Christmas movie by classic film director Frank Bailey but decides that profit is more important than a making a quality movie so fires Bailey and hires a teen sex comedy director in his place.

The Date Debate / Scary Previews

Count Floyd and Woody Tobias Jr co-host a new movie review show, Scary Previews

You're On / Das Boobs

Das Boobs puts Porky's on the deck of Das Boot. Also features a trio of commercials with Irving Cohen, and the call-in show You're On, hosted by councilman for Melonville East, Max Lansky.

Stars In One: Bob Hope / Happy Hour

"Happy Hour" was a mock children's show, by bar patron, Happy Marsden, and the bartender, Mike. A mock western filmed in black and white, "Six Gun Justice", with was shown on each episode.

Stalag SCTV

Scripts are being stolen from SCTV, and new guy Fred Winston is the likeliest suspect. Highlights include Al Peck's Dinosaur Days and Lewis Does Dylan.

Diary of a Female Person / Happy Hour

Happy Hour shows another episode of Six Gun Justice, and Brock Linehan features Libby Wolfson's struggles to produce her new film.

Just For Fun / Black Like Vic

Rusty Van Reddick does a PSA for nursery schools; tonight on "Just for Fun," Stan Kanter launches a discussion on nuclear proliferation; in a 1962 episode of "Vic Arpeggio," our hero pretends to be a black man in segregation-era Georgia.

Youth, Do They Give A Damn or What? / Happy Hour

Soren and Weiss try to figure out what's up with the youth of today, while Don and Cheaplaffs have further adventures on Happy Hour. Also features a trio of commercials with Sophia Loren, who keeps branching out into new businesses.

Allenscam

Features several wraparound elements, including an unfolding scandal involving Brad Allen, artist Willem de Kooning never quite being interviewed on three shows, and new character Rita Schubb in three separate short bits. Also includes Harvey, as done by the New York Actor's Studio, Mel's Rock Pile returns to the psychedelic sixties, while Murray Shulman savages Canadian television.

Oliver Grimley

Cheryl Kinsey does a live show, while Ed Grimley, does Oliver Twist

2009, Jupiter and Beyond

Sci-Fi movie 2009, Jupiter and Beyond

Half Wits / Save the World Parade

Melonville's parade to promote world peace might not go as the announcers wish. Meanwhile, Alex Trebel is eager for someone, anyone to score on his game show "Half Wits."

Jackie Rogers, Jr. for President / Happy Hour

The wraparound features Jackie Rogers Jr's run for president, while Six Gun Justice's penultimate episode airs on Happy Hour. Jayne Eastwood returns as moderator for Philosophers at work.

Celebrity Fairie Tayles / Canadian Gaffes and Practical Amusements

Celebrity Fairie Tayles features the unlikely pairing of Alan Alda and Ed Grimley, while Canadian Gaffes features the gang from Headline Challenge in another brutal parody of the CBC that often approaches the moribund tediousness of the real thing

You're On / Happy Hour

Happy Hour presents the exciting conclusion to Six Gun Justice, and host Happy Marsden makes a surprising confession. The show also features and another episode of the oddly-paced You're On, while over at SCTV News, Earl retires and Floyd shows up in his Count Floyd costume.

Pledge Week

Various SCTV characters host a pledge drive for the network as it goes bankrupt.