Episodes
Are You Being Served? (Pilot)
A reorganization within the store forces the staff of the gentlemen's ready-to-wear department to share their floor space with the Ladies' Department. Mrs. Slocombe, head of the Ladies, and Mr. Grainger, head of the Gents, immediately come to loggerheads over control of the center floor display. Mr. Grainger refuses to take down his trousers and put Mrs. Slocombe's underwear in its place. Undaunted, she goes over his head to Captain Peacock, and then to Mr. Rumbold.
Dear Sexy Knickers...
Mr. Lucas attempts to send Miss Brahms a love letter suggesting an after-work "get it together". Confusion on who sent the letter and to whom it was intended sets the stage for a lot of misunderstanding. There's also the customers to contend with and Mr. Lucas has a devil of a time fitting them into clothing.
Our Figures Are Slipping
The Department figures have taken a dive and so Mr. Rumbold decides to convene a sales conference amongst the staff. Since the meeting is taking place after hours and off the clock, no one is very motivated to provide any solutions. If something isn't done, someone might lose their job, and that someone is clearly Mr. Lucas.
Camping In
A transport strike leaves the staff stranded at the store, so Young Mr. Grace offers to let them spend the night on the floor. Tents are set up, but Mr. Lucas has trouble keeping his up. A "campfire" sing along leads to talk of the last World War and the experiences some of them had.
His and Hers
Mr. Grainger's trousers are missing, along with the central display. The staff learns that the space was freed up for the "His & Hers" fragrance display. Mrs. Slocombe is outraged that they went her to take down her underwear and put perfume there in its place. The glamorous salesgirl causes stirrings in the trouser department. When it's discovered that free stockings and ties are given out with every scent purchase, both departments formulate a plan to oust the intruder.
Diamonds Are a Man's Best Friend
It's pay day at Grace Brothers and the staff realize that their money just doesn't go very far. An opportunity for a bonus arises when a customer loses a diamond and offers a £100 reward. Greed gets the better of everyone, except Mr. Grainger, and soon they're conspiring behind each others backs. Mr. Mash throws a wrench in the search after he damages a jeweled dress, causing a multitude of "diamonds" within the department.
The Clock
It's Mr. Grainger's 37th anniversary at Grace Brothers and the Department hosts a celebration dinner for him. It's a time of happiness, and dread, for if he receives a cuckoo clock then it means he's to be retired.
Cold Comfort
A fuel shortage grips the country and Grace Brothers, so the stores furnaces are shut down for the day. The staff are freezing and soon develop unique ways to keep warm.
The Think Tank
Sales are falling once again and so Mr. Rumbold calls together a "think tank", a suggestion he "borrowed" from Captain Peacock. The staff decide that a fashion show would be the answer, but when Young Mr. Grace won't cough up the dough to hire proper models, the staff are forced to put on the show themselves.
Big Brother
There's trouble afoot at Grace Brothers! Someone's been lifting Mrs. Slocombe's skirts and putting their hands in Mr. Grainger's drawers. Shoplifting has struck the store and Mr. Rumbold installs a store detective and a video surveillance system. It goes off track for awhile, as Mr. Rumbold turns into a voyeur and the staff act like they're on television. Ultimately, the staff decide to do in the scheme and prey on Mr. Rumbolds hypochondria to accomplish it.
Hoorah for the Holidays
The Store's redecoration plans threaten to interfere in the staffs vacations. Everyone is now expected to take the same two weeks off and there's disagreements on how to handle it. Grace Brother's Tour Group Company offers some package deals, but they are far from First Class.
The Hand of Fate
Mr. Humphries begins displaying his ability to read palms and tell the future. He sees that Captain Peacock will soon be "climbing the ladder and wearing a new hat". Everyone takes this to mean a promotion, especially now that there's a vacancy on the Board of Directors and Mr. Rumbold is in line for it. Captain Peacock expects to take Mr. Rumbold's job. The department staff soon all imagine moving up.
Coffee Morning
Mr. Grainger is 5 minutes late coming back from his coffee break and this sets in motion a management scheme to monitor all breaks. The staff must sign in and sign out when they leave and return to the department. The department staff revolt and union action is taken
Up Captain Peacock
Captain Peacock is celebrating his 20th year at Grace Brothers, and while his request for a raise has been turned down, he has been given a key to the Executive Wash Room and the privilige of eating in the Executive Dining Room. He lords this over the department staff and Mr. Grainger decides to make some trouble.
Cold Store
Illnesses strike the Department, and Mr. Lucas decides to fake his to get the day off. His plan backfires as he is assigned to the Ladies Counter as a sort of "quarantine".
Wedding Bells
Naughty sayings on her underwear push Mrs. Slocombe to the brink of giving her notice, but then it's discovered that Old Mr. Grace plans to ask a member of the staff to marry him. When he calls for Mrs. Slocombe, everyone assumes she's the one.
German Week
Grace Brothers hosts a week long sales event by selling only German goods. The staff, however, find that the German customers they are getting only want British goods. Captain Peacock objects to the "uniform" he's expected to wear and Mrs. Slocombe gets into the German wines.
Shoulder to Shoulder
The Ladies Department is temporarily closed due to refurbishing, so Mrs. Slocombe and Miss Brahms are given counter space over in the Gents. However, the men aren't very happy at having to share their area and do their best to make them unwelcome.
New Look
An after-hours staff meeting produces an idea to introduce background music and a recorded voice; the only question is--whose voice?
Christmas Crackers
Mr. Grace has an idea to improve Christmas sales--all the staff are to wear novelty costumes, much to their annoyance.
No Sale
When Mr. Grace decides to open the store early, the staff set out to sabotage the new policy.
Top Hat and Tails
Mr. Humphries' background as a dance instructor is called upon when the Ladies' and Gents' Wear departments form a team to compete in the inter-store ballroom dancing competition.
Forward Mr. Grainger
Mr. Grainger is selected to fill in for Mr. Rumbold while he is away; the staff wonder whether they should take advantage of Mr. Grainger's good nature, only to discover to their horror that he doesn't have one when he sacks Mrs. Slocombe.
Fire Practice
After finding that Grace Brothers' fire precautions leave a lot to be desired, Mr. Harman helps out training the staff in fire preparedness and a fireman gives Mr. Humphries a lift.
Fifty Years On
After Mrs. Slocombe starts dropping hints that it's her birthday, the staff calculate that she is 50 and plan an appropriate party.
Oh What a Tangled Web
Rumors fly when Captain Peacock gets too friendly with Mr. Rumbold's secretary at the Christmas party, and things get really out-of-hand when it seems they might have spent the night together.
The Father Christmas Affair
When the mechanical Father Christmas proves that it can't be trusted, Mr. Grace offers a bonus for one of the staff to portray the store Santa. Meanwhile, Mr. Humphries and Mr. Lucas attempt to help Mr. Grainger prepare for a song-and-dance show at an old-folks' home.
Mrs. Slocombe Expects
The staff have kittens when Mrs. Slocombe announces she's expecting a happy event, but it turns out that it's merely her cat that's pregnant; when she refuses to leave Tiddles unattended, she braves the ire of Captain Peacock by smuggling the cat into the ladies' fitting room.
A Change Is As Good As a Rest
When Mr. Grace announces that he plans on temporarily reorganizing the departments, the staff are indignant, but find that work can be a lot of fun...if you're working in the toy department.
Founder's Day
To celebrate Mr. Grace's 80th birthday, the staff organize This is Your Department, a spoof of This is Your Life.
The Old Order Changes
Young Mr. Grace returns from a trip to the U.S. with a host of new sales techniques that he is eager to implement.
Take-over
The staff prevent another firm's hostile takeover of Grace Brothers by impersonating the shareholders. Mr. Harman gives a rousing speech, and Grace Brothers is saved.
Goodbye Mr. Grainger
Mr. Grainger's temper has become extremely short. The staff, in a private meeting with Mr. Rumbold, decide he must go. However, when he wins the lottery, his bad mood vanishes and he makes his peace with the staff and stays on.
It Pays to Advertise
The staff star in a TV commercial for Grace Brothers, produced by Mr. Humphries. Could Mr. Grace's cheapness be the reason for using his staff in such fashion?
By Appointment
The staff prepare for a visit by the Queen. The visit is abruptly ended when Mrs. Slocombe accidentally pushes a flower pot out the window, nearly hitting the Royal Couple.
The Club
Young Mr. Grace invites his workers to form a social club - in a dismal cellar badly in need of decoration. Undeterred, the staff tackle the paint and paper job with vigor.
"Do You Take This Man?"
Mrs. Slocombe thinks she's finally got her man, a bouzouki player in a Greek restaurant. The staff plan a reception at the store to help keep costs down, and her American uncle plans on giving the happy couple a house. Before they can leave for the church, however, the best man arrives with bad news, forcing Mr. Tebbs to don the garb of a Greek vicar and Mr. Humphries that of the bridegroom.
Shedding the Load
Sales figures are down; profits are low. Young Mr. Grace is forced to make some economies. The threat of redundancies is looming. Someone is going to have to go - but who is it to be?
A Bliss Girl
A new display of perfume arrives from Bliss, but there is no Bliss Girl to man the counter. Mrs. Slocombe refuses the position, so Mr. Humphries becomes the Bliss Girl for the day.
Happy Returns
It is Young Mr. Grace's birthday and there is the traditional free lunch for staff in the canteen. Afterwards, the staff plan a much more festive event for the celebration.
The Junior
Mr. Goldberg is hired as a junior after having recently run his own small tailoring business. To Captain Peacock's chagrin, the staff learn that Mr. Goldberg had served under the Captain but recalls those army days differently.
Strong Stuff, This Insurance
The staff must take physicals to get insurance. Listening through the door of Mr. Grace's office, they hear Mr. Harman describing the state of the furniture, which they misunderstand as being the results of their physicals.
The Apartment
By permission of Mr. Grace, Mrs. Slocombe moves into a display apartment in Grace Brothers, because her new home is occupied by squatters. Due to a transport strike, Mr. Humphries seeks to join her in her new accommodations.
Mrs. Slocombe, Senior Person
Mrs. Slocombe temporarily takes the place of Mr. Rumbold, who has taken ill . She eats the cream cakes she finds in his office. But she then gets a call from the hospital warning that the ice cream is what made him ill.
The Hero
Captain Peacock is challenged to a boxing match by a member of another department. He backs out, and Mr. "Hugger" Humphries is "elected" to take his place in a wrestling match. He loses that match, but Mrs. Slocombe enters the ring and defeats the challenger.
Anything You Can Do
The standard of the canteen food of Grace Brothers is rapidly going from bad to worse. After confronting the catering workers with their complaints, the staff are told to get on with the food preparation on their own.
The Agent
Mr. Goldberg runs an agency to get the staff better jobs. After Captain Peacock and Mr. Rumbold become aware of this, Mr. Humphries and Mrs. Slocombe are given raises, and decide to stay with the store.
The Punch and Judy Affair
When the staff of the Ladies' and Gents' departments don't participate in a strike, relations between them and the rest of the store's employees become understandibly bitter. In order to improve the mood, the staff presents a life-size Punch and Judy show for the other employees' children.
Is It Catching?
The staff contract a strange tropical illness, Marine's Disease, from Mr. Humphries. They are quarantined in the basement until the disease is past.
A Personal Problem
Captain Peacock's wife works at Grace Brothers, as Mr. Rumbold's secretary. He is intensely jealous and is absolutely convinced that the two of them are having an affair.
Front Page Story
Mr. Humphries is made editor of the new staff magazine. The 1st Floor staff is not pleased with the stories he writes about them causing friction in the relations between floors.
Sit Out
The staff go on strike after being threatened with a pay cut or being moved to the bargain basement. They stage a protest on the roof which is interrupted by a fire which destroys the basement.
Heir Apparent
Old Mr. Grace becomes convinced that Mr. Humphries is his long-lost son. Mrs. Humphries (also played by Mr. Inman) arrives, and shows that she has never had relations with Mr. Grace.
Closed Circuit
Grace Brothers has decided to enter the video age and display advertisements on closed circuit television throughout the store. Meanwhile, there is a new face in Menswear.
The Erotic Dreams of Mrs. Slocombe
Mrs. Slocombe has dreams in which she and Mr. Humphries become romantically embroiled. When she attempts to turn fantasy into reality, the situation becomes most difficult to handle.
Roots?
The staff decide to obtain a coat-of-arms for Old Mr. Grace's 90th birthday, but problems arise when they're unable to figure out exactly from where his ancestors came.
The Sweet Smell of Success
Mrs. Slocombe sells her home-made perfume. After a misunderstanding, Mrs. Peacock finds Captain Peacock without his pants (perfume had spilled on them) and the ill-fated trousers in the hands of Mr. Rumbold's secretary.
Conduct Unbecoming
Mr. Humphries is accused of stealing and his distinguished career could end in disgrace. In a trial, he is found guilty and dismissed, but Mr. Harman finds the missing money in the back of the till from which it was supposedly stolen.
Memories Are Made of This
When the handsome golf pro from Sports comes to the floor for a demonstration, he accidentally hits Mrs. Slocombe. She then thinks she's a little girl, wrecking havoc on the store as she cavorts around the department.
Calling All Customers
The staff perform a play on CB radio to advertise Grace Brothers. The play results in the store being swamped by truck drivers who are driven off by Mr. Humphries and Mrs. Slocombe.
Monkey Business
Bad news. Grace Brothers may be bought by the Japanese. The staff take their problems to Number Ten, where they speak with President Reagan by phone. Mrs. Thatcher gets fashion tips from Mr. Humphries.
Lost and Found
When Mrs. Slocombe's cat turns up missing, she decides that only Mr. Humphries could take its place.
Goodbye Mrs. Slocombe
Mrs. Slocombe is forcibly retired from her position. Mr. Humphries and Captain Peacock get her job back, but they are retired in the same manner. They end the show as the cleaner and the lift operator.
Grounds for Divorce
When Captain Peacock tries to salvage his marriage, he resorts to radical measures to discourage an admirer.
The Hold Up
When the store is robbed late one night, the staff determine to capture the burglars themselves.
Gambling Fever
Security cameras are again installed at Grace Brothers, and when the staff bet their bonuses on a horse race, it's up to Mr. Humphries to mime the race to them by closed-circuit.
The Night Club
When Old Mr. Grace decides to allow the staff to use the store for after-hours money-making, they decide to open a nightclub. However, the advertising campaign has some rather unexpected results.
Friends and Neighbours
When traveling to and from work becomes difficult, the staff threaten to resign unless they receive a travel allowance. Old Mr. Grace offers them the empty apartments on the top floor as living space, but they soon discover cohabitation isn't what it's cracked up to be.
The Pop Star
This episode we find Mr. Spooner is about to be discovered by a record company. One problem is that his voice keeps giving out. Mr. Humphries gives him a tonic and he recoveres for a little while. While auditioning on tv with Grace Brothers Staff, his voice gives out.
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